okay.. so I am this but what about that?

Hi guys..

So I know I am bpd and I know that other pd's cross over etc and we suffer with other stuff sometimes but.....

May I ask.. ?

How can I get control over so many things? It will take me 'all my life' lol..

I am bpd/hpd/gad/ and clinical depression..

I also suffer with fibromylagia/onset arthritis..

Tension within the body is of course sometimes caused by my mental health however, how can 1 person gain control over so many things? Is there anyone who ever does or is it a case that we can only do our best?
and if our best isn't sometimes good enough with certain things/conditions then what? It is all such a mess in my mind sometimes.

I get a handle on bpd one day.. the next I am strugging with hpd. Then I am in pain which then causes depression/anxiety and I then get wound up and stressed.. It's all a pain in the ass really.

It isn't fair on my loved ones either. It's a case of.. How are you today? lol.. ' well... I am crap cos of bpd.. or I am crap cos of being in pain' There is always something it would seem. Well maybe not all the time but you get my drift. I try to remain as cheery as possible and don't get me wrong I am a funny, happy, nice person.. it is just a little hard, in fact really hard sometimes.

Any thoughts??

Hey D!

I know this may not be the all-encompassing answer you'd like to have, but can I ask you a question?

What do you consider a "good" day?

I had to make a lot of decisions on what I felt constituted a "good" day, what was a "normal/okay/nothing special" day, and was a truly crappy one. This helped me to also get through the black/white thinking, and into the gray area, with one toe in really cold water.

The reason I ask is, I know that with being in constant pain - if that isn't something that you can always control, would it still be an "okay" day if you didn't have a terrible occurrence or struggle with maintaining triggers? Would it be a "horrible" day (which we are ALL entitled to) if you had a BPD/HPD day where everything fell apart, can that be a bad day? If you have a good day where no one triggers you, or you're able to at least put up with the pain, can that be considered good? I'm just throwing some options out there.

The only reason I am kind of challenging you with this is because I had my own struggles with the good/the bad/and the UGLY. I had to decide if the bar in my head was set too high - and in my personal case, it was. It was only a "good" day if I got a raise, made a new friend, someone did something nice for me, etc. It was a "bad" day if none of the above happened.

It's helped me have some insight into things, but if this didn't help - I truly apologize.

I hope that things improve for you - because you DESERVE a good day


<3

AMP

Hey hun,
Yeah I hear you..
I have got better in terms of being grateful for small mercys. I see what you're saying. I was wondering how other people viewed it all.

example:
If someone has multiple conditions (more than myself) Do they ever feel truly 'good' 'okay' etc or do you think they/we sometimes just feel we're existing and struggling through?

Don't get me wrong, I have had moments of true clairty where I have really good days despite all the troubles and are grateful for what I do have. I am guilty though of not always living by the rule 'there is always someone worse off'.. I do allow my problems to somewhat cause me self pity. This is something I need to address. I know I am not half as bad as what I was years ago.

We all have our problems etc but just for a minute imagine someone who has no health conditions, mental or physical (in good shape) and has a good job, okay finances, great friends... Do they feel happier than people who do have the added problems of health worries? Maybe not always, but if not.. why? Strange eh.. Humans are strange creatures.

Today is a reasonably good day but I have to say that there isn't usually many days that I am not just chilled out.. How I would like that more often. This again is soething I may need to learn as well.

I suppose my reply is a right jumbled ramble lol
Sorry about that. I kind of know what I mean. Hope you get it.. if not.. send me a slap lol

demitria;
Hugs.

I think that you are correct.. everyone has problems.
Show me a well rounded person.. and I have this nice patch of swamp land to sell you... lol.
People put out what they want you to see.
As for the other question..
Do you think that maybe things can have a domino effect?
I mean, everything is kind of linked.. so if you have a better grip on one, then you can get a better grip on the other, and so on...
Sorry probably confused you as much as I did myself lol.

hey myfault...



I know what I mean and thank you for trying to decipher my madness.. lol

x