Inappropraite Responses Uncontrolled Emotions ~ STR8 Trippin

I imagine I'm not the only one who crosses these boundaries as by definition people with our condition respond in non-appropraite ways. For example right now even though I now have the power of knowing I'm BPD I will not be able to handle rejection from my ex girlfriend if that's what she has in store for me. I will want to cut her out of my life because I can't face the pain it will cause me.(but I won't be able to and I'll likely dwell in misery and regret at best) It was my choice to leave her despite her desires, and I stuck with it for months. She just got around to moving on and dating other people and now I realized that she was a fine partner I was just trippin on BPD. Damn!

Not the first time either not even close. But I didn't realize I had a problem in the past and perceived my relationship issues to be derived from offenses against me in most cases. Now I think since I know that I just tend to feel uptight like that I can just let go of my suspicions and know I'm just a STR8 tripper.

Hey, Grover! Maybe you could analyze this situation and write down why you think you left her, what triggered those thoughts and feelings and then what made you realize that she was really ok. Keeping a journal might help, what do you think?
You will find someone new, you just have to try and learn from your mistakes.

Thanks for the good advice and kind encouragement jasmin.

I've grown alot in the last week since posting this and come to realize that my perceptions of complications in the relationship were real issues but it was my thinking causing inner turbulance more than anything through negative thought patterns. So those are not her problems to own and perhaps things might have been better had I understood but its not important anymore. Like you said jasmin what is important is that I have learned from my mistakes - on so many levels vast and various as they've been. I've learned to not judge my thoughts rather evaluate them and let them pass through me. I no longer need validation from others not even myself(cause Im not judging right or wrong) but I can give to myself through positive reinforcement of thought with everything I do. That and realizing that other people are just filters of experience projecting their own issues at us and we need not take them personally just be aware of their experience without judgement. Understanding these kinds of things is helping me get a grip on my emotions and may alleviate the likelihood of Str8 trippin in the future.

I now feel good about myself and my direction. I don't need anyone else to feel complete or help me feel stable and secure. With this state of mind it seems likely that I might have unlimited opportunities to attract a healthy companion for a rewarding relationship. I feel that I now have the power to be clear with my energy and resolve life's issues with a positive spirit.

Oh and if you're wondering how I flipped the lights on, it had a lot to do with DBT.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectica ... or_therapy

If you want to cut to the chase of it, go straight to about the second page and study the "Four Modules." It's a quick read but takes some real deep reflection to understand. Helpful to anyone as I believe BPD is an expression of excessive emotional disturbances which we all have to some degree. DBT teaches us to solve those problems from a rationale perspective and approach. It seems to me that these concepts might serve as a direct path to finding the calm within through understanding and detachment.

Oh, thanks for the link! I have heard of DBT before, it must be very good for BPD people.
It's great that you're doing better, growing and analyzing, good for you and keep up the good work