Confused with therapy!?

I'm new to this site and recently diagnosed with BDP. I've been reading up on it and reading through the threads on this site (I really liked the 'You know you have BDP when...' thread. It helps to have a chuckle and yes, I knew I had BDP after reading the 'You know you have BDP when...' thread... That's confusing, but what I'm confused about is my weekly therapy sessions with my psych. I don't mind the guy, I suspect he may be a bit of a rich wanker really, but he is fine really. He's not doing DBT and is doing sort of psychotherapy where I just have to FEEL my feelings and catch up with myself bc I have alwas avoided my feelings (with self destructive behavior, fleeing and being avoidant etc). This is hell obviously; I'm anxious everyday, having panic attacks and now crying a lot (which is new and apparently good). I'm persisting to do just two subjects at uni, and that's all. I'm not working or doing anything else. He wants me to do NOTHING and just feel, feel, feel like hell to heal. This past week was so bad for me he said he won't push me further today.

Has anyone heard of this sort of method? Does it work? Am I wrong to go to uni when he really doesn't want me to (he says I'll fail, as I have repeatedly recently - but shouldn't I at least try?)

Anyway, uni homework is giving me panic attacks, but I try to think of those actors who are wracked with anxiety and are sick before every performance to keep me going. Or should I just pull out of uni for now as my psych wants me to?

What a rant. Sorry. I'm just confused with all this. The diagnosis is hard to digest in itself.

Beedeepee

Hi, Beepeedee! I've heard other people talk about getting in touch with their feelings, being encouraged to feel etc. but not necessarily to treat BPD (in my own very limited experience). You could ask for a second opinion from another psych and see what they say. Hopefully you will find good advice on this forum
It's ok to quit college for a while, to look after yourself. Nothing to be ashamed of.

He beepeedee -

I myself have found a lot of good progress with my therapist, and we use free-association psychotherapy with mindfulness and DBT-style techniques added in. I know that it can be HIGHLY annoying for someone to tell you to "feel feel feel" when you're like - DUDE, I'm TRYING to feel, that is the PROBLEM.

But believe it or not, I got my best ever advice from a lady with DID/multiple personality in group therapy:

"When you stop trying so hard to try, and think, that's when you start to feel."

I was so irritated with what she said that it took me 3 weeks to process and appreciate it. And by the time I came to her to thank her for that invaluable advice, she had forgotten she had said it to me, and thought I made a mistake and it must have come from someone else. That made me sad - because I wanted her to understand the impact it had on me.

I hope that bit of advice is comforting, but even if it takes you three weeks (hey - I have a hard head), I hope that it may help you in your therapy travels. :0)


<3

AMP