Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody...

I'm brand new to this forum and could definitely use someone to talk to. I was diagnosed with BPD about six months ago, but my psychiatrist thinks I've had it for six or seven years.

I have no insurance and can't afford DBT. I see my psychiatrist for free at a nonprofit place once every two or three months, but he only does med maintenance. No therapy.

I'm pretty overwhelmed. I don't know which things are me and which things are my personality disorder. I don't know how to handle it. And I don't feel like I can talk to the people close to me about the worst stuff because it might hurt them or scare them.

I'm hoping this forum will be a form of support for me and that I can learn something here. Thanks for reading.

Can your psychiatrist discuss free options through public health system ?

I've asked him several times about getting DBT or even just a general therapist, but there's nothing available here. There is a place that does DBT about an hour away, but sessions are about $150/hr for self-pay patients.

I was seeing a counselor through Pastoral Counseling Center in my city, where the fee is based on income, but the counselor hasn't had time to see me since last year. I think patients who can pay the full amount are higher priority than patients who can't. I also attempted to get counseling through a place called Agape that is associated with the Church of Christ, but after an initial assessment, they told me they couldn't help me. I'm not set on using a place that is faith-based; I just tried these places because they charge on a sliding scale.

Mmm i have the same problem at the moment. My regular psychiatrist said DBT is like expensive and you need to take out private health care so he shrugged it off and said that to me as if it is completely useless in regards to how expensive it is along with taking time off work... etc which would mean less money so it made me feel really over trying to see about getting help.

The doctor i saw the other week gave me a psychologist to ring and she is busy and full but there is a service at my local hospital which is two days a week but free. Are you in Sydney ? PM me if you are and i can tell you the details if i find out they just don't ring back. You have to hound them which is annoying.

Hey there, hetriceratops!!!!

I'm glad that you found us here on psychforums... this can be a really nice way of reaching out to others without paying a fee :0). Mental healthcare is really expensive, and it can be hard to get the kind of tailored therapy that we need to start the journey of recovery.

I know that the whole diagnosis can be overwhelming to begin with, but there are many free DBT techiniques on the web that I've used in between appointments, and to help keep me intact during med changes, or times of higher stress and such. PM me if you want me to send you some of the ones that I've used, and that have worked for me.

What works for one doesn't always work for another, but there is a vast bunch to choose from, so maybe one or two will find favor with you.

Also, LIly82 has been educating a lot of us on here lately about TRE's, or Trauma Release Exercises. These seem to be primarily practiced down in Australia and Asia, but seem to be catching popularity.

All of treatment is expensive, but using all the free stuff we can find is best we can do when between insurances.

Let me know if you want more information, and I'll be happy to share.

Again - welcome to the forum! I hope you find a lot of support and helpful members <3

AMP

Thanks for the responses.

rebba87, I'm in the US, but thanks for offering.

MissAli, I sent you a pm. Any information you can give me would be greatly appreciated.

I would be more than happy to!

ATM, I'm at work, but this evening when I get home, I will send you a PM with my bookmarked pages that I've used frequently for myself, and shared with others :0).


AMP

Heytriceratops,

I will PM you with information and links on Trauma Release Exercises.

I think most people with BPD struggle to find stuff that works. Doctors are only just beginning to understand how to treat it, so even if we do decide to get help, good treatments are hard to find. Even in the UK, where we don't need insurance, things like DBT are almost impossible to get. And as MissAli says, it's good to find stuff we can use between sessions, that is preferably free or inexpensive.

I am in a therapy group, using Mindfulness. I know MissAli is a big fan of it, as am I. She may be able to explain it a bit better than I can, about how it applies to BPD.
Essentially it's about 'living in the moment' and not being caught up in negative thought patterns. It helps with black and white thinking too.
Non judgment is importnant, I think it's something pwBPD struggle with a lot. It's helped me to not judge or be frightened of my emotions, and has taught me where these come from, usually relating back to my childhood.

If you look on the UCLA website, you can download Mindulness guides for free, some are specifically for working with difficult emotions.

The TRE is great, because it's something you can do at home, and for me it helped a lot with opening up in therapy. Basically, it's a set of stretching exercises that are designed to induce tremors in the psoas muscle, which is the part of the body that carries trauma and stress. With BPD you are constantly reliving and trying to avoid trauma, and it's an extremely stressful condition to live with due to the constant anxiety and mood changes and frightening incidents.

So by reducing the trauma from the body, the BPD has less to 'feed from', if that makes sense? I've noticed my 'punitive parent mode' which is the abusive inner monologue we have, is becoming less and less. It has not cured the BPD, but it's taken the 'edge' off and has made therapy a lot easier. I am a lot less anxious too, before doing TRE I was having panic attacks in my sleep, nightmares, i was angry all the time, poor concentration. I'm a lot calmer and more open. I can't imagine my life without TRE, and its made me realise just how physically and mentally worn out I was.

It's also nice to have something that is 'mine', that gives me control back over my life and my body, but in a postive way. I am noticing I am feeling a lot more positive towards my body, before I would self-harm, drink, had eating disorders. Doing the TRE made me aware of how much trauma I was carrying in my body, and how the one thing I loathed- my body, is helping me to heal. And I'm getting more healthy contol over my body, instead of self-harming.

So that along with Mindfulness are two resouces that you can learn by yourself.
In therapy group, they are using a book called Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder: Diagnosis and Treatment of Mental Disorders by Marsha Linehan which is good. You could teach yourself coping skills from this.

Also, this forum is an excellent resource. A lot of us are in recovery, and share things we've learned. I've had many realisations about myself just from reading other people's stories. You can put up your most shameful feelings and nobody will judge, but will offer advice and support.