Confused with Relationships

I'm a bit confused about my identity. I have a huge crush on my therapist but I also think I might be bisexual. I want to experiment with women to see if I am. I also have a boyfriend at the moment. He is a great guy but he doesn't know about all of this.

Sexuality is fluid. It can be whatever you want it to be.

If you are happy with your boyfriend, maybe you could suggest to him that you want to experiment with females, and see what his reaction is to it.

If you aren't happy with your boyfriend, I would suggest breaking up with him since it's keeping you unhappy, and then you are free to do what you like, with who you like.

A lot of us have all had crushes on a person though, but we don't feel sexually attracted to other people of that gender. It's all about being fluid.

I've learned in my past relationships that not everyone fits into a mold of what is right or wrong. Some people are wired to be monogamous... Some not... Some are in between. Logically, poly makes sense to me... but emotionally... well, I was put on disability after my last attempted poly relationship.

The problem I've faced having BPD and trying to explore the realm of multiple partners is that to be in a healthy relationship that involves multiple partners, you need to have a healthy perspective on your relationships with others. For me, that has been significantly lacking.

My current s/o... we have a unique relationship... He will get a little insecure if I end up fooling around with other girls, but it won't bother him for a long period of time, as long as I reassure him that I love him. Now, if HE were to fool around with other GUYS, I'd be perfectly fine with it, as long as he communicated with me well before it happened. I also know that his attraction to other men is purely physical, and he would never be in a committed relationship with another man... He told me about a guy he had a crush on, and I gave them space... let them have time together... I was OK with that connection... but with other women.... I would get insanely insecure and flip out.

So I guess what I mean is that there are no solid rules as far as what constitutes a healthy relationship. Monogamy is not always what makes people happy. Some people need to be more free at certain points in their life, and that's OK, as long as everyone is on board. Communicate, and make what you would feel comfortable known. Most people will NOT be OK with letting you be able to mess around with other people if they weren't able to do the same. I've noticed that straight men do not feel comfortable letting you experiment with other girls if THEY can't fool around with other girls.

The problem with dealing with more complex dynamics in a relationship is that having BPD can make you more susceptible to losing your cool in situations that require more grey area thinking, and that can lead to some really messy, unhealthy situations, for everyone involved.