I am sick of Isolating

I have been isolationg for the past year and I am getting to sick of it!! I dont know how to stop. I am at home alot because i have a 17 month old son but when my dad offers to babysit I turn him down and just stay at home when I am not working! I used to go to NA meetings alot other than that I dont know how to socialize any more! I'm really grateful for this site because I feel like I can relate to all of you! Has anyone gone through this? How can i jump back into life? i really feel alone!! Any suggestions would be soo great1

I am a chronic isolator and I am so glad you're fighting it because once you get comfortable with it it's hard to stop.

It's hard to give you advice on how to stop without knowing what your interests are. I went the route of volunteering for Special Olympics because I felt they were accepting of "weirdness" for lack of a better term. I loved it and it worked for quite a while.

But then I crashed and went back to isolation.

Please fight hard against it. Even just getting out and being among others will help.

Is there any thing you and your son can do together. Often a nurturing need can over-ride every other impulse.

Good luck dear. I'm wishing you all the best.

Anna, I want you to know that Iwoya gives great advice.


I went through this too after I was hospitalized, husband left, had my family come down, pick me up from the hospital to get into the car and head back to the state I live in (7 states away) to go back home, with only the belongings that would fit in my car (which I wasn't allowed to drive) and my mom's Jeep.

I didn't want to put my head out of the window, let alone go to WalMart. I felt like hiding and hibernating, and it was such a grave degree of motivation to even leave the house and sit on the deck.

But as Iwoya already said, the more you try, even when you feel weird, or like an outcast, or whatever, the easier it gets. I can say it until I'm blue in the face, but it really will be up to you and what you like to do :0).


<3

AMP

Hi,

I isolate too.

I go to 12 step meetings, the gym and post on this and other boards, which gives me some relief.

Lately I've realised I'm isolating too... I have no ideas to help you out though... Need to find some myself :/

You know, I just happened to think of this on my way home, and wanted to send it to you on your post before I forgot -

When I was getting better, and was still unsure of how to "get out there", I actually started going to a place where you could paint pre-fired pottery. I TRULY sucked at it, and had many disastrous and ugly pieces, but it gave me something to do on Saturday afternoons when no one was around or available, or they couldn't/didn't come to the pottery place with me.

I'm not sure where you're at locally, but maybe they have something you might be interested in doing, even if out of your comfort zone, and to keep yourself busy while "practicing" getting back out in the real world.

<3

AMP

Thanks for the suggestions! I just have to push myself to do something

I am curious. Why are you trying to get get back into things?

I mean it's the right idea, no question but as I was driving home I thought about how little I care about what others think. But maybe it's culturally more acceptable for a male like me to be alone than a female. You know, that lone wolf versus the cat lady spinster stereotypes out there in the world. Even now there is no shame placed on me for being alone.

But it also might be nobody wants me around

I have to admit when I first chose to isolate, there was a part of me wishing someone would come bring me back.

Thinking about it now, many tried and I hated them for not understanding.

I'm really not that bright.

hI Iwoya i think it is because I am lonely and bored. I have fun with my son but i need to get out. I wish there was a free dbt group or support group for bpd in my city

ohhhhh;
I responded and now my response is in cyber space somewhere.. If anyone finds it can they send it home...

start over..
iwoya.. fellow Canadian

I agree with you on the male being able to be out in public by himself and nothing is said or thought.. but a woman, that is a different story..
I got dressed up to meet with a GF for dinner.. I was propositioned in the parking lot, (good money too)
Or if we come back from the grocery store with a bag, yes it is automatically cat food…
So we are either hookers, or the cat lady who yells at the kids to get off her lawn… the ones I thought growing up were witches..

I think it is human nature to want to be with someone, To want to be liked/loved.
It is ok to be on your own if that is what you choose, as well as it is ok to want to have a yin to your yang.

If we were truly meant to be on our own.. Would we be “made” the way we are?
Would we have the thought capacity we have, the speech we have, heck would we even have a mouth?
Mmm I wonder..

mf