is this normal for BPD? - MAY TRIGGER

Hi guys,

I am pretty new to the sight.. this is my third post. I have some questions in my mind that I hope people can help with..

my violent crazy outbursts are triggered usually by my husband. I was just wondering if it is normal for bpd suffers to be sent into a crazy frenzy due to sarcasm and mocking. Also superior attitudes from others. Usually in the middle of an arguement

Is it normal to smash things up? i:e - throwing hundreds of cd's down the stairs in a huge mad frenzy brought on by frustration because my husband went into the bedroom in the middle of an arguement and sat against the door so I couldn't get in

going for that person after they have said something hurtful.. i:e - going to slap them, push them, pound your fists into their chest etc.

I sometimes think I am worse that anyone in this world. That i am more than bpd.. that I should be put down just like a crazy, violent out of control animal would be

Thanks for listening x

No, that's normal.

For me, what would trigger me, would be niceness. If my boyfriend was kind, it reminded me of how horrible I was. And would trigger my belief that I wasn't worth anyting and didn't deserve love. So I would get angry with him. It's a cruel thing to do to someone, who is only trying to take care of someone who is obviously messed up in the head.

BPD rage is a terrible thing. It hurts other people, and it hurts us too. I felt constant remorse and shame for how I was, but the more he loved me, the angrier I got.

To deal with the anger, try Mindfulness. Just breathing exercises to bring yourself back to yourself. It's really helped me to think before I act. Losing your temper and being abusive is an awful thing.

You also got to remember that this rage comes from somewhere, usually your childhood. This leads to poor communication skills. Maybe all you want to say is 'I'm scared you'll leave'. But it just comes out in a rage fit.

demitria78 wrote:Hi guys,

my violent crazy outbursts are triggered usually by my husband. I was just wondering if it is normal for bpd suffers to be sent into a crazy frenzy due to sarcasm and mocking. Also superior attitudes from others. Usually in the middle of an arguement

The superior attitudes, people repeating themselves, or the mocking, one of the quickest ways to send me into a spiral since the thinking goes crazy.

demitria78 wrote:I was just wondering if it is normal for bpd suffers to be sent into a crazy frenzy due to sarcasm and mocking. Also superior attitudes from others. Usually in the middle of an arguement

absolutely. sometimes back in the day I'd swear my abusive boyfriend at the time would do that kind of $#%^ to me on purpose to make me explode so that he could then lose his temper in return and then blame his abuse on me for making him angry. his mocking and condescension would make me utterly explode, like I couldn't even understand how I remained physically intact in those moments and didn't turn into a scarier, more raging, psychotic version of the hulk.

Hi guys,
Thanks for the replies so far. Much appreciated..

It is so so so hard... in fact impossible sometimes to avoid going into that mad frenzy. It is horrible, scary, unnattractive, shameful, disgusting and so on..

Do any of you have children who have witnessed such horrible displays?

x x

I think so much of it depends on your own personal triggers; you may not be fully aware yet of what exactly they are (the really deep, underlying stuff I mean). Yes, the behaviour you describe is 'normal' for me though.

When I get angry I smash things up, "rearrange" furniture, chuck everything in sight, chuck things of tables, etc etc and have kicked and punched in walls. I would never harm anyone though. When i was in hospital with overdose drug induced delirium I punched a nurse but I have no recollection of it, so I don't think that counts.

Hello people,

Thank you for your replies so far.. It brings comfort in a strange way but I have so so much work to do. I need to get into therapy. I feel I have just been left and all I get is a shrink appointment 6-8 weeks.. He is pretty useless too.. I feel my meds aren't working too well either.. When I read other peoples threads they seem to have more meds.. meds for violent behaviour/thoughts etc. All I am on is 2 meds..

Is there anyone else here who has small children? my kids are 17, 13 and 6. 17 year old left home living with her boyfriend though.. I feel so guilty sometimes.. x x x