Is my ex Borderline or Bipolar? *TRIGGER WARNING*

We were together for only a short period of time, never got serious though, but got on so well and she apparantley was hospitalized after an attempted suicide (this is what she told me - i only "know" what she tells me). She came out of hospital and ended it, saying i deserve better, she feels hopeless, shes a bad person and she would destroy my life if we were together. Told me she really likes me and that i make her happy and that she misses me but cant see me again because im too good for her and she feels guilty seeing me and makes her feel worse. She says she is afraid to leave the house, shes paranoid of people. I went round her house unnanounced two weeks ago to see how she was, just as a friend. After the initial distance, she couldnt keep her hands off me, but still told me to not come around again and she cant see me, or be in a relationship and she didnt want to hurt me with her manic episodes. She already said she has a mild form of bipolar but there are so many personality traits (BPD) that fit her. She said to me she has no friends and her step mother tried to kill her a few years ago, but, yet, they always post on her facebook wall that they love her etc. She said that she hasnt logged onto facebook for ages and that her Sister is pretending to be her, which is complete BS. She panicked slightly when i asked her about her facebook activity (although minimal) and said her Sister uses her account instead. Anyway, i phoned her the day after i saw her and she said to me 'our moment' never happened and she was talking deep, severley depressed to me. This was a completley different person i saw the other night. It was like she was acting on how she was really feeling to push me away. She said she felt like 2 out 10 and that all she does is stay in and that she isnt aloud out because she is a danger to herself. It felt like she was manipulating me.

so I decided to come off Facebook myself as it was really messing with my head, all these contradictions. Anyway, i sent her a text this week. She didnt reply so i was genuinley worried about her so i logged back onto her facebook and discovered an vast increase in her activity and how she was attending a few parties, went snowboarding with her friends and posted a picture of her with some other guy on her profile, claiming to be her boyfriend. Funny how active shes been on Facebook now that i had come off. I also noticed that her friends were asking what her new number is (she obviously changed her number very recently too).


Anyway. Her symptoms are, from what i know, or from what i believe, or from what she told me (which probably include lies):

Cutting (have seen her scars)
child abuse (shes from West Africa where this is rampant)
dysfunctional family (her parents disowned her)
lies a lot
ignores me and also her friends for days/weeks
gets quite hypo (manic)
suicide attempt (although im only going by what she told me)

I noticed from my research, that 'clingyness' is a BIG symptom. This girl was NOT clingy and she told me to forget about her and to move on etc. I was always the one who clung on with contact. But, how the hell do i forget about her when the last i hear from her, she is talking suicidal or severley depressed. Maybe she thinks that this will deter me from her? Well, i actually care about her, but i just feel manipulated.

Sorry for the long post :p

The long post isn't a problem :0).

Welcome to the forum! I'm not sure if your ex is bp or bpd, because it would depend mostly on how she feels about herself. Just because someone is a cutter or attempts suicide does not make them bipolar OR bpd.

Its hard to diagnose someone when you're involved with them, or were. There's no way to be objective.

I hope you're able to move on from her in a healthy way. It sounds like she is doing her own thing, and wasn't good for you regardless of any diagnosis.

I wish you the best, and again, welcome!

<3

AMP

Thanks for your reply Miss Ali. I should of added her other crucial symptoms i.e. hopelessness, lack of self worth, self hate, low motivation, nothing to look forward to, sometimes pessimistic, 'splitting', the want to be "normal", guilty, her saying im 'perfect', would watch me sleep in bed and say how 'peaceful' i looked.

She always said to me 'its not your fault' and im a nice guy etc. She realised that this was her problem and i had nothing to do with it.

Ive read quite a bit on BPD and noticed one big characteristic of a BPD is the person being quite 'clingy' to their partner and demand attention etc. My ex was not really 'clingly' at all, just "normal". Could she still be BPD?

Cheers

The two can run together however see a psychiatrist for a professional opinion.