hatelovehate

Hey all,

I am new to this forum but I have been suffering with BPD for about 4 years now but I feel like it is progressively becoming more intense. I have had MANY relationships, love interests and "friends with benefits" in my life, however, i have recently just met this man that i truly do like ALOT and I can see myself with him for a long time. He knows about my BPD and I explained to him what it feels like. But, my mood shifts from loving him one minute to being 100% disgusted with him. Like, one minute im cuddling with him and all I can think about is our future together and how great we will be and then BAM, out of no where, im walking out of the room and never want to see him again. Its so frustrating! At this point I dont know what to think because I keep wanting to leave him and "block him out of my life" to wanting to marry him..its such extremes! I know this is typical with borderline but with this guy, the love/hate issue has gotten so intense! im going insane! how did you guys deal with this??

my mood shifts from loving him one minute to being 100% disgusted with him.

You might try Mindfulness.
to slowdown your impulses and be able to accept your feelings,
and know it can be different by the conscious choice you want to have a different outcome. You want this for you not because you want him.

be mindful of your triggers.
It will take time and practice.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSU8ftmmhmw


I'm curious when you are cuddling is it OK when you are showing affection, but when he starts to reciprocate you want to get away?