FML

I can't stop thinking about killing myself.

Yesterday was a really good day, I had so much fun a laugh with my friends and my bf I was actually on top of the world... I was ok thin morn when I woke up, then all of a sudden I was depressed and crying my heart out.
I really cba with Christmas now. The only people that actually cared about me was my grandparents, and they are dead now :'(

All I want to do is go home by myself, smoke loads of dope, put my nan and my grandads ashes next to my bed, go to sleep, wake up in the morning and have a christmas #######1 and a cup of tea with my grandparents ashes (sad I know but I miss them soo much) And then end my life.

I swaer I haver been thinking for a few weeks... what the actual f*ck is the point in life? All we do is live a miserable depressing life, have to work, then die.

I can not think of one single thing to live for.

Me either. I just want to die. I just am so tired of trying. Scraping and fighting. Only to end up deeper and deeper when I'm already in over my head
Well...merry Christmas! What is fml and cba, anyway?

I wish I knew what to say or do. I can't even think about the past without falling apart. I do everything I can to not think about the past. It destroys me. I can tell you what has helped me "cope", though. Have a sense of humor about your pain (hence my avatar). Volunteer. It diffuses the focus off of you and your problems. Helping anyone, even if they aren't as bad off as you, is helpful.

If you are seriously suicidal and want to try getting better again, then you should go to the ER.

Z1t23ch3 wrote:When you're alread dead inside, what's left? Maybe you're trapped. Or maybe your free? Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose. (That's my line, I though of it.)

Possibility? I thought I never had any. I always felt the world was a real place which could have only real outcomes. However, having felt as abstractly painful, been abstractly lonely as I have, I have come to realize that the world is a dream. Life doesn't have to be one way or another. Life isn't beautiful or sad. It is what you make it. You can make it anything you want.

Happy people are caught in the web of that dream. Content with Taco Bell and Transformers 4: Tokyo Drift. Discomfort makes people move. Makes them do drastic things. Like suicide. Like metamorphasis. The choice is yours. Red pill or blue bill?

(Daayuum. I just inspired myself.)

I just typed this and I liked it.

is there a crisis line you can phone or is ur therapist reachable?

the thing about this is that its a feeling, and feelings are not permanent. you feel like this is what you want now but can you speak for yourself one or five years from now?