newly diagnosed BPD

Hello

My name is Angee and I have BPD. Sorry I have a lot to say so this may be a book.

I was diagnosed bipolar type 1 three years ago and since then diagnoses have been tacked on. I developed panic disorder a couple of years after that and then I was recently diagnosed BPD after a hospitalization a couple months ago. It sucks too because it seems I got a handle of some of the other illnesses and this starts.

BPD hadnt affected me until about a year old. While shy, I had a group of friends of about 8 or so and we did many things together. I didnt have friends before I met them so I considered them a great blessing.

Then they started putting me into situations that werent beneficial to me, wouldnt try to talk it out and I realized things were not good for me. So instead of causing this stink, I just went on my way with only a few friends left.

I then ended up witha friend in NC. I agreed to watch her special needs son so she could work. Things got bad as well there and I realized she was abusing her son. I packed myself up and went back to Michigan.

Ive been in MI for about two months and it has been like forever. I have been to a facility 3 times. I am very depressed and quite suicidal I went to a new PDOC who refuses to prescribe drugs until I am medicaid so he can prescribe the ones used for BPD and so he can evaluate me in the office for a few months so I have no refills on my meds.

Then I find out my dad is doing drugs again. He was addicted to morphine but he got it taken care of but now he is on it and has checked out if you know what I am talking about.

And my mom is in stage 3 of COPD. She needs help with a lot of things and I have been doing it while my dad is in a freaking stupor.

This has left me extremely abandoned. My siblings are off playing and Im doing all this. I am now scared to death with what my mom is going through because I was her shadow and the only one I can count on and if I lose her Im basically a recluse.

Not only that my family has such a lack of concern about me, I passed out from stress and my dad looked at me and said what do you want me to do about it.

My mom sleeps alot. She has to so I see that alot and my dads always passed out. I have no family support. I could even go to my brothers just to be around someone. I am extremely suicidal and I know I cant go because who would take care of my mom. I cry so much I cantstand it. I used to love being alone but now just to have them snoring in the room with my sends me into a panic. I just want some in my life right now.

Im not familar to this BPD stuff even though I am a psychology student. I dont know what to do or what makes it feel better. Any suggestions is appreciated.

Hello, welcome to the forum.

If I knew how to make it better, I'd be better. So can't help you there. Just wanted to welcome you.

Hi and welcome to the forum.

You're at a bit of a disadvantage, because Michigan isn't a cure for boredom, depression or anything else. I can say this being from MI (grew up in Midland, also spent a lot of time in Lansing)..

I'm sorry that you're going through such a rough time, and can't get on meds yet. If you like feel free to pm me. I can relate to that feeling of being alone even when people are around. I wish you well...

Take care of yourself!

-cbox

I'm really sorry that you're having to go through all this. I know my life can be a nightmare and I have family that is behind me all the way; I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling. I know we're not the same as having someone there to hug you, but we'll do everything we can for you. You're not alone.

Hey Angee,

First off, welcome to the forum/family!!

You seem to have a lot on your plate right now and this is stressful so that must be exhausting.

Wish I had a quick fix for you but the unfortunate fact with BPD is that there are no real quick fixes. Everything seems to take time to deal with.

But it can get better. You will learn coping methods to help ease the stress with only occasional relapses. It takes work but you're worth the effort. Don't you think?

Coming here to get some help is a good step towards a more comfortable life. Hope we can help.

Hugs Angee, things can and usually do get better.

Thanks guys for the kind support and that it can get better.

Got some DBT literature..Some of it seems over my head..hoping itll sink in too

msangeedepp wrote:Thanks guys for the kind support and that it can get better.

Got some DBT literature..Some of it seems over my head..hoping itll sink in too

Hey,

Dbt can seem overwhelming at first. The first few weeks can be extremely difficult, and you may feel like you'll never get it. Stick with it though, because it WILL click with you.