Crying on the inside *Triggering*

Ever feel like you're crying on the inside, but you can't on the outside? That's what it's like right now. I'm so used to holding down my crying, that it's hard for me to cry when I just wanna have a cry, like normal people do.

I feel so much emotional pain right now, and I feel so alone.
I just want to die right now. I feel like I have nothing left for me, but all I do is just carry on like nothing is wrong.
I really want to self-harm right now too, and there's only so long I can hold that off. It's too hard not to give in.

What did I do to deserve all this?

I just want to be with someone. In the arms of someone. I want to cuddle and snuggle and kiss and do all that romantic sh*t you see in the movies and on the TV, especially this time of year.
You're not normal if you're single at Christmas. I know my dad will just bully me on Christmas day again like he does every year.

Lia, are you ok? You shouldn't have to spend time with your dad if he bullies you. I think lots of people get lonely this time of year, myself included.

Hey, waving crazy arms here!!! I'm single at Christmas too! It's depressing, but I've resorted myself to one though, and ONE thought only -

I DONT HAVE TO BUY A GIFT FOR ANY DUDES THAT DONT DESERVE IT THIS YEAR!!!!

Which means, I can either treat myself to something cool, or I can spend a little more on my sister (which is most likely to happen, because I freaking LOVE her, and love surprising her with gifts).

So, look at the bright side - we all want someone to cuddle with, but Prince Charming doesn't come along every day, so we just have to wait patiently for him.

And then when he gets here, we will find something wrong with him, and then wait for another Prince Charming :0).

<3 BIG HUGS!!! Smile!!!

AMP

If you need anything, message me. I'm here. It's nice to have an anonymous shoulder sometimes.

Just take it one day at a time. Be patient. "Into each life, some rain must fall, but someday, the sun will shine." Just wait for a brighter day.

I don't have any advice for the thoughts, because I've been trying not to cut, too.