Control as manipulation

My landlord called last night. It wasn't a nice call.

He told me that unless we get renter's insurance for the house, he's evicting us. I never signed anything in the lease that said I'd purchase insurance, and he never brought it up until now.

I'm aware that what he's doing is illegal, there's a landlord and tenant board to deal with this mess, blah blah blah...

So while this jackoff is yelling at me on the phone, being vulgar and insulting (he even once said that I "wasn't f*cking normal" and that putting him in this position "wasn't f*cking right") I just let him rant. And rant he did... the less I reacted to his threats of eviction, the louder and more stupid he became. I could hear his blood pressure rising. Once I heard how distressed he was getting, I actually smiled and realized that I could manipulate his feelings so easily just by remaining silent.

Not being the one in a hot, emotional mess felt pretty good. A couple of years ago I would have been just as unrestrained as he was.

But is getting some kick over the element of control I seem to have over him be disordered as well? I'm not sure how well-adjusted people would have handled this.

One did that to me once and I said nothing, walked away. Complained to the owner. He lost his job. And no more trouble.

He is the owner, not just a caretaker of sorts.

According to the law I can file a report against him which would force him to appear in court. It would be free for me, not for him. They'd probably put a restraining order against him if he continues to threaten us and I file a report. It's not a battle I want to pick unless it needs to be done. The thought of making him waste resources & time on something that's absolutely free to me is tempting though.

No, if he is the owner, I would not advise it.
It would be hard to have a real case.

I would simply leave the place ASAP, because things will escalate, most likely.

I think that is great you didn't get upset!

There is so much power in that sometimes!

I practice this on my mom. Instead of giving her a emotional reaction and falling apart which she wants me to do.

I just agree with everything she says. This way she starts kissing my ass and I become " golden child "

Lol so BPD.


It's hard though!

Tungsten wrote:I would simply leave the place ASAP, because things will escalate, most likely.

As tempting as that is, I really love this neighbourhood and it would be impossible to find a similar rental at the price we have. So he can kiss his own pompous behind and deal with the fact that I won't give him the satisfaction of having a reason to evict us.

crimsonandclover wrote:There is so much power in that sometimes!

Totally. It was a rush.

crimsonandclover wrote:I just agree with everything she says. This way she starts kissing my ass and I become " golden child "

Does she split you black the instant you disagree with just one thing? Yeah, I used to be that way too when I was younger. It was easier to avoid conflict than to negotiate terms so the loss wasn't entirely mine.

Nowadays I barely agree with anything and have no issue with others hating me. During the phone call I didn't agree with anything because he might've taken it as a verbal contract. Maybe it's something that comes with age, because it's not a skill I learned in therapy.