I'M ######6 SICK OF BEING ABUSED!!!!! *trigger*

I'm sick of being abused by my mom,

I'm sick of feeling abused and unsafe and creeped out by my dad.

I'm sick of having a brother who doesn't give two shits about my because of my abusive mom

I'm sick of my ex that I wasted a lifetime on

I'm sick of people judging me because I'm not perfect

But most of all I"M SICK OF BLAMING MYSELF!!!

I was not born this way.

I didn't not chose to be adopted by such monsters and I'm ######6 sick of having to apologize for it!!!

I'm sick of the denial they choose to live in and shows how even more ######6 sick they are and everyone around them.

I was a perfectly untouched child that could of had a shot at a beautiful life full of love and happiness that was taken and beaten out of me.

###$ THAT.

I have nothing to be grateful for. And I'm sick of pretending to have to be.

###$!


I'd end it all but I guess I'm too narcissistic too or insignificant to. Take your pick.


The only reason I don't do anything to my family is because I know karama will take care of it. Because it some ways it has. Even though I'd like it to go faster.

But what is there for me? Where is my chance? Where is it?

What is there left to do but run?

Sorry to hear about that. Maybe one day soon you can move out and start a new life?

Life is only as good as we make it. Sometimes that might mean leaving your family behind and starting a new one.

4horsegal wrote:Sorry to hear about that. Maybe one day soon you can move out and start a new life?

Life is only as good as we make it. Sometimes that might mean leaving your family behind and starting a new one.

I am moved out.

See I'm sorry but it isn't as good as we make because things that happened to me were not my choice. It is not my fault. I'm so sick of hearing it's my fault.

It's not your fault. None of it is..

You were abused by your mum, and she had no right to treat you like that. I know how it feels to have noone on your side in your family, and to be the odd one out, the black sheep who refuses to put up with your mums crap. See, my mum only targets me as well. My sister is perfect, and my father is too scared to stand up to her. Just know that you're above all of them. You're a great person, and your life is only beginning.

As for your ex, f*ck him! Ex's aren't worth your time. There's a reason you broke up, and if he wants to treat you the way he did, he can get stuffed.

I get told everything is my fault as well... The only difference is, I'm pretty sure I was born with this. But it doesn't excuse the way we have been treated, you have been treated.. It's not your fault.

Can I ask though, what makes you think your father is a creep?

<3

Chaudement wrote:It's not your fault. None of it is..

You were abused by your mum, and she had no right to treat you like that. I know how it feels to have noone on your side in your family, and to be the odd one out, the black sheep who refuses to put up with your mums crap. See, my mum only targets me as well. My sister is perfect, and my father is too scared to stand up to her. Just know that you're above all of them. You're a great person, and your life is only beginning.

As for your ex, f*ck him! Ex's aren't worth your time. There's a reason you broke up, and if he wants to treat you the way he did, he can get stuffed.

I get told everything is my fault as well... The only difference is, I'm pretty sure I was born with this. But it doesn't excuse the way we have been treated, you have been treated.. It's not your fault.

Can I ask though, what makes you think your father is a creep?

<3

THANK YOU CHAUD <333

I know you get it. And you get me. Thank you.

I have un resloved issues with my dad. I feel he may have abused me but I can not remember. It's really hard to know but not know.

I know that kind of a vague answer it's hard to talk about it I guess.

I hope things get better. I try to hold on.

Realizing things aren't your fault I think is the hardest part of it all. It was for me.

You get so beat down you don't know what to believe anymore.

Sometimes its best to lay all these feelings out, and I'm glad that you came to us to do it. This is all overwhelming, and you have done the right thing, crimson.

I know what you mean, when is it YOUR chance? When do YOU get to shine? When do YOU get to live the life? It's a hard concept for all of us to have.

But these things are not your fault. They really aren't. And even though you're lashing out, healthily, sometimes you feel like screaming it from the rooftops. And I think you should.

This may be the "freeing" sense of what you need to move past all of this.

And I'm PROUD of you for it. I'm here for you!

AMP

ahh illuminati you're back are you ?

Bloody trolls...

illuminati69 wrote:edited, never feed a troll

Thanks for giving me attention loser

What in the f**ck is that about? "Go cut yourself"? Are you serious?

I don't think I like that type of language around here.

Crimson, ignore him.

AMP

MissAli wrote:Sometimes its best to lay all these feelings out, and I'm glad that you came to us to do it. This is all overwhelming, and you have done the right thing, crimson.

I know what you mean, when is it YOUR chance? When do YOU get to shine? When do YOU get to live the life? It's a hard concept for all of us to have.

But these things are not your fault. They really aren't. And even though you're lashing out, healthily, sometimes you feel like screaming it from the rooftops. And I think you should.

This may be the "freeing" sense of what you need to move past all of this.

And I'm PROUD of you for it. I'm here for you!

AMP

Thank you Ali!

Sometimes I just have to! Even though it's alot. I think it's better to express than repress right?

-- Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:12 pm --

MissAli wrote:edit? Are you serious?

I don't think I like that type of language around here.

Crimson, ignore him.

AMP

Yea what was that about?

-- Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:15 pm --

He sent me a message too saying he hates BPD cause they wine.

I think he is a pedfilia. How sick