I'm back- and feeling very confused

Hi All

I've been a bit absent the past week or so- my computer died on me and it was a case of jump on the forum while no-one is around at work, so they can't see what I'm looking at online and don't ask questions.

I had my visit to the new psychiatrist, involving the stress of plane flights and finding my way across the city on my own (I live in the country and find the city a bit scary). The clinic I went to was aimed mainly at bipolar and depression.

I've been given a new dx- social phobia (yeah, ok, I agree with that), and possible bipolar 2. I rang my therapist straight after, he agreed with the social phobia, but was suprised by the "possible bipolar 2". The psych said yes, BPD and bipolar 2 have a lot of similarities, but it's just left me even more confused. I was clinging to the BPD dx because it was some sort of identity, something I don't otherwise have. In all honesty, there's one or maybe two bipolar criteria that could apply, but I still relate to BPD a lot more.

So I've been feeling pretty lost the last few days, and being unable to access the site hasn't helped- just when I need support most I couldn't access it. Don't know what to think. I have to wait until Wednesday for my next therapy appointment.

lilyfairy wrote:I've been given a new dx- social phobia (yeah, ok, I agree with that), and possible bipolar 2. I rang my therapist straight after, he agreed with the social phobia, but was suprised by the "possible bipolar 2". The psych said yes, BPD and bipolar 2 have a lot of similarities, but it's just left me even more confused. I was clinging to the BPD dx because it was some sort of identity, something I don't otherwise have. In all honesty, there's one or maybe two bipolar criteria that could apply, but I still relate to BPD a lot more.

They do tend to have a lot of overlap. If you & your therapist are hesitant to agree with the bipolar diagnosis, there's always the possibility of getting a second opinion.

lilyfairy wrote: The clinic I went to was aimed mainly at bipolar and depression.

That might be part of why they focused in on bipolar. It's what they see all day. I'm guessing that by the time someone walks through their doors, they already suspect there's a mood disorder.

I hope you get the confusing sorted out & feel better soon!

Thanks Ladyswan. This place was for the second opinion. They're supposed to be the experts on depression and bipolar. My last pdoc wanted to tell me I basically wasn't trying hard enough with meds, and that I just had to keep taking them even if I reacted badly. The rubbish she gave me turned the week I took it for into one huge dissociative episode, among other things. I refused to go back. I'm tired of starting again and putting all my hopes into someone being able to help/save me with all this, and it always backfires, and I end up having to go back to the beginning and starting with someone else new because they couldn't help me.

I was too upset and overwhelmed to be able to answer their questions properly- I couldn't explain what I meant. My therapist knows I have trouble with this, and we get around it by me writing stuff out for sessions. I took stuff written out, but they didn't want to see any of it. I basically had to shove my previous psych reports in their hand, and I didn't have the most recent one from my therapist because the receptionist at the doctor's surgery couldn't find it (my records have only recently been separated from my mother's and I think some are still mixed up).

Re the bipolar- they did say that it is frequently misdiagnosed as depression and the highs aren't always recognised, so yeah, in all fairness, they are checking for undiagnosed bipolar.

I'm just really frustrated and wound up about it still. It's been 2 weeks since a therapy session too, which is adding to my stress levels, and probably the reason I'm harming at least every second day at present.