telling people about BDP Dx

now my Dx has been confirmed, i wanna tell people, but i'm wary of th reaction. Do folk here know of th current view of Borderlines in th UK? Does it tend to be favourable or not?
I'm not that close to many people, and only keep in touch with my ma in my family. Told her n she cried, but was OK about it. Then told one of my mates tonight n he was really sweet, saying he always knew i was 'just a little bit crazy'. People generally just think i'm weird - should i leave it at that?
What have folks experiences here been like?

Very few people know about my bpd. I am not even sure if my sisters and brothers know about it, my mom most likely spread the news, but nobody talks about it. The reaction I got when my mom found out involved crying and stuff...it was hard for her to accept and she doesn't really understand bpd that much either. One of my sisters knows about it but I don't think she understands. That is why I avoid telling people about it, only one close friend knows of it and my boyfriend.

I personally think the fewer people know about it, the better. The bpd part of me feels like telling people about it so I can see their reaction and feel cared for, i think. First try to talk about your dx with your closest family members and friends...a lot of people don't know that much about bpd so reactions vary based on their understanding of what is bpd. I hope it goes well!

No one in my family needs to know, they would judge me for it and they probably wouldn't care, so I never tell any of them. I would love to tell my mates, but I'm afraid it would flabbergast them. They are afraid of me already as it is, without knowing.

nexys wrote:now my Dx has been confirmed, i wanna tell people, but i'm wary of th reaction. Do folk here know of th current view of Borderlines in th UK? Does it tend to be favourable or not?
I'm not that close to many people, and only keep in touch with my ma in my family. Told her n she cried, but was OK about it. Then told one of my mates tonight n he was really sweet, saying he always knew i was 'just a little bit crazy'. People generally just think i'm weird - should i leave it at that?
What have folks experiences here been like?

1. No, it is not a favorable thing... here, there or anywhere.
2. You lucked out with your friend
3. I imagine, the majority of us keep it to ourselves. There are many people out there that do not like those of us with bpd.
4. Let them think you're weird it's better than the alternative.

cboxpalace wrote:Let them think you're weird it's better than the alternative

agree with that one

My friends from college know. Oh man, that turned out badly... They were pretty flabbergasted when I told them... I wouldnt advise telling people unless you're very close to them and know they wont use it against you...

If I have to tell people about it, I tend to explain the symptoms, rather than just saying I have BPD. I wrote a letter to explain to my bosses what was going on at one point, because I needed to explain myself (for my benefit and theirs) and I didn't think I could do it without getting really upset and overwhelmed. For example, I explained that it makes my moods go up and down really quickly for little reason, which even I find hard to understand, or that I get very hurt when someone else is asked to take over part of my job, even when I know I can't possibly get it all done myself, or recently, that I'm having trouble dealing with customers in a sales environment, and when I do, I become extremely anxious and start to feel as though things aren't real. By telling them about the symptoms, they know something is wrong and know not to push me too hard when they see those signs.

I tried to keep away from using terms like dissociation, cutting, and wanting to kill myself. Unless the other person has been there that's a bit too much for them, unless like Chaude said, they're people you're close to who you know aren't going to use it against you.

My family don't know either- it's staying that way. For me, any conversation about my feelings with my family either turns into being about someone else's feelings, or the subject gets changed.

I can't see anything good coming from being overtly forthright about bpd. Ive been open about it with people and had it used against me. I prefer to be judged by my words and deeds rather than my dx. Being labelled by people who have no idea what we go through, nor care to understand doesnt seem like much fun. The mystery of being unusual and idiosyncratic is more appealing. Nowadays Id only share it with a person if I felt the interoersonal relationship I had with them was suffering because of my bpd, and I felt that the relationship would benefit if they understood my behaviour a little better, and that they would be understanding.

Depression appears to be a little more sympathetic dx, so if people probe, I tend to use that first.

[quote="Dancing is forbidden"] I prefer to be judged by my words and deeds rather than my dx. [quote]

This is good news to hear DIF...Now I know for a fact that when you say you love me, you mean it!!!

I'm another one who thinks nothing good can possibly come from telling people. Look at the toxic sites that come up when you do an internet search, for starters.

-- Fri Nov 18, 2011 6:18 pm --

Obviously I don't include life partners/spouses in that statement. I think it's better if they do know.