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F*ck it.

You ok? What's happened Chaude?

...

*hugs*

I have some experience in this area, it was worth reading and I think it worth some outside opinionated analysis... It might seem that I'm picking holes but I'm only trying to get some insight. I hope you can accept it in the positive manner that it is intended:

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This is a good place for this sort of thing. I'm glad you did.

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People set on being negative are not worth spending your time over. There always seems a need to hold cards to your chest to avoid people using them against you, but really, you should be able to be honest and open to people and those that don't are friends, those that do are not.

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I don't know much about you and your particular circumstances but I do know that what you describe above is the cyclic pattern that fuels both - which generally goes like this: You may start with slight fears of abandonment, perhaps accusing of not spending enough time with you, of looked at this person wrong, or not being supportive of situations... which leads to an argument... then they leave. The next time around you have more fears because it happened last time and think it probably happen again so the situation gets worse and worse.

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normally this works the other way around, they would perceive trivial issues of things you think are a big deal which is interesting. But I'm curious as to how you go about isolating yourself - is it abrasively with heated exchanges, I hate you don't want to see you again?

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What do they do on this rampage? What would you class a trivial argument?

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This is not 'normal' behaviour for people so I wonder about some possibilities:

1. you perceive them to be doing all these things when they are not.
2. you really did something bad
3. they have psychological disorders.

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This sounds like these people all fall into 3. above. But for everyone you know to have a disorder sounds unlikely so perhaps we are really between 1 and 2. Some examples would be useful.

Perception is a b1tch of a thing. Depending on how you perceive things all sorts of hell could unravel and you mostly need to get confidence in what you perceive to know for sure if you are right or wrong about something and get a clear head. This is hard work for everyone and really really hard work for BPD

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You must bother trying again. The same thing may happen again but eventually it will not but you have to stay strong here.

You are not doomed. You may need to learn some techniques for dealing with people either because they are bad and you need to avoid them or you are doing something wrong that can be helped. Either way it has to be possible - you are sufficiently well thought out in your post here to give you encouragement of that.

-- Wed Nov 16, 2011 9:13 pm --

I relise you deleted your original post, I took a while to get my thoughts down let me know if you them to be deleted as well.

Stay safe...

Chaudement wrote:F*ck it.

If you told me what..I probably would F*ck it!