Flipping out when your therapist cancels

My appt tomorrow got cancelled because my therapist is away sick. I feel selfish for thinking like this, but whenever it happens I get wound up and convince myself that he doesn't want to see me anymore, and that he's leaving me in this mess to fend for myself and I can't deal with it. (abandonment issues I guess). Logically, I have an appointment next week, and his text message said to call the office and reschedule, but the irrational part of my brain says he's abandoning me. Anyone else do this too?

Yes! All the time!

It's so hard to not feel like you're being abandoned in those situations. Just try to remember that people do get sick, and the fact that he's texting you shows that he cares and he's not just leaving you.

Lily, I think that it is amazing that your therapist texts you!

It's either a text message or a phone call- I suppose it was a text because I usually get text reminders of my appointment time from him. Gives me something to obsessively check- that I've got the right date and time- not sure whether that's a good thing or a bad.

I'm trying to rationally think that he has a legit reason for cancelling, but I struggle with rational.

Become a more positive Person. Being positive comes from general confidence, confidence comes from not doubting and believing in, and confidence in being certain is being positive, and that will allow you to not worry..because you will be positive that solution exist. Also, work on not seeking validity. And if the idea of your Therapist being out bothers you, create a back up plan- have something to fall on.

Become a more positive person? I've spent 11 years trying to do that. And it hasn't really worked. I don't have anyone else in real life to discuss my issues with, other than my doctor who I have to make appointments a week in advance for, unless I can convince the secretary that it's urgent. I don't have friends, they screwed me around, and that's what I expect of people- for them to let me open up to them and then they run. Not seeking validity? When people continually invalidate you, by not believing what happened, or what you feel, what's wrong with seeking validity to try and prove your thoughts and feelings are real and to have someone actually believe you, and not try to convince you that it's some figment of you imagination?

Become a more positive person? I've spent 11 years trying to do that. And it hasn't really worked. I don't have anyone else in real life to discuss my issues with, other than my doctor who I have to make appointments a week in advance for, unless I can convince the secretary that it's urgent.

Making the choice to be positive comes down to one thing your quality of Life.

I don't have friends, they screwed me around, and that's what I expect of people- for them to let me open up to them and then they run.

Eventually you come to understand everything is a risk, not a guarantee. You're going to get burned badly many times, it's no reason to say you don't deserve certain things. You only punish yourself in the end, and why? because some jerk said so, who you weren't compatible with, and who only hurt you.

Not seeking validity? When people continually invalidate you, by not believing what happened, or what you feel, what's wrong with seeking validity to try and prove your thoughts and feelings are real and to have someone actually believe you, and not try to convince you that it's some figment of you imagination?

I wouldn't associate with People who invalidate you continuously, that is plain old disrespectful. You shouldn't have to be forcing People to believe you. Having somebody believe you is there Job, that's up to them. Don't do there dirty work, others are going to think what they want anyway. Let these People invalidate you all they want. Have your own views grounded, and be the only judge of yourself.

I like to cancel on my therapist so that he flips out and feels abandoned.

Bloody Ghost,

Do you know what BPDers are struggling with?

If we didn't seek validation and focused on the positive then I don't think we would have BPD.