Didn't Think I'd Need to Come Back to This Forum...

Nevermind

Wow, I could have written this myself. I hope your physical issues are getting better!

It does sound like your mom has the charateristics of someone with NPD. It would explain why nothing is ever her fault (her perception), that she conveniently forgets things, and that she won't accept illness in you. Unfortunately there's nothing you can do about it. It's rare that an NPD becomes insightful to their own condition, and it certainly won't be somebody else who points it out to them.

My own mother subjected me to medical abuse, but doesn't see it that way. In her own mind she was saving me, being a selfless mother, a saint in the eyes of others for having to deal with such a sick child. In reality she ensured that I was always sick and LOVED the attention from everyone. I tried to confront her about it last year and she purely denies everything. Then she pitted some of my family against me, saying I was crazy and spreading lies.

Not sure what to say or suggest to you that can be helpful, because the only thing I've found that helps is to completely avoid her.

My adoptive mother has NPD traits and it can be very stressful (understatement) to be around her and sometimes her comments really send me over the edge. I just stick to "small talk" with her unless my dad is around lol it's easier this way.

I didn't get to read your post but judging by ladyswan's comments i just wanted to let you know I understand

uscitizen1966 wrote:Nevermind

From the responses you have received, I think I would very much liked to have read what you wrote. Mothers have a huge role in the way children develop and see themselves, recognizing that your mother has a mental illness can help to negate her negative attitude toward you. I believe I would have been better off in an orphanage, than having been raised by my mother.