Target Behaviors

Those of you who either are currently in, or have already gone through DBT therapy, I am very interested in what your target behaviors are or were.
Mine are:
People pleasing behavior
Angry outbursts
Cutting back on the use of marijuana as an emotion regulation method
If you've already gone through DBT, how much progress did you make on your target behaviors?

I just started DBT two weeks ago.

Target Behaviors:

1) Suicidal Ideation
2) Not eating (forgetting to feed myself/being too depressed to eat)
3) Picking - eyebrows, nails, etc,

How would you define target behaviours? Are they behaviours that you realise you do most often, and want to get rid of, or are they behaviours that you feel sabotage your life, or are they the most prominent behaviours you have, etc? I sort of understand but I am in a very pedantic mode at the moment, sorry.

DBT did not help me as much as I would have liked. Having social phobia, I often found the group sessions traumatizing. Exposure to social settings, throughout my life, has never decreased the anxiety i feel and it eventually eats away at me till I quit a job and etc.

Self Harm: I did more self harm while in DBT, than I did outside of it. Its been a little over 6 months since my last episode and I've been out of DBT for 2 years.

Suicide Ideation: No change.

Most of my target behaviors are internal. The hypocrisy of life wears me thin and makes me think of existential issues. The one thing that might make this purposeless life worth while, I cannot seem to have- which makes me angry. I don't think DBT was adequately tuned to these issues. Nor do i think there is enough focus in the psych world to deal with the existential issues of turning atheist, while once extremely religious.

moomin wrote:How would you define target behaviours? Are they behaviours that you realise you do most often, and want to get rid of, or are they behaviours that you feel sabotage your life, or are they the most prominent behaviours you have, etc? I sort of understand but I am in a very pedantic mode at the moment, sorry.

Nvm, just answering myself. Found out more about the four stages with targeted behaviours. I didn't understand why trich would be in the same category as suicidal ideation, because surely life threatening behaviours would be priority?

moomin wrote:

moomin wrote:How would you define target behaviours? Are they behaviours that you realise you do most often, and want to get rid of, or are they behaviours that you feel sabotage your life, or are they the most prominent behaviours you have, etc? I sort of understand but I am in a very pedantic mode at the moment, sorry.

Nvm, just answering myself. Found out more about the four stages with targeted behaviours. I didn't understand why trich would be in the same category as suicidal ideation, because surely life threatening behaviours would be priority?

I "think" what he/she is referring to at the very beginning of dbt you're asked about what behaviours you want to increase and what behaviours you want to decrease.

I don't have my book in front of me so I'll have to post what mine were later.

I'm still in dbt for the time being, but like someone above mentioned it really hasn't been as helpful as I would've liked. The past several weeks it has increased my anxiety, probably more angry, and affirmed what I believe about myself, and part of that is I'm not likeable and I'll never have friends. I live for my kids and that it.

Hey guys, thank you for your replies
That really sucks that DBT hasn't been as helpful for some of you as you were hoping.
and Lander, I think losing your faith is an issue DBT is not equipted to deal with. Losing your faith is pretty profound for a religious person and it's own cup of tea.
Those of you who said DBT makes it worse, why do you feel that way?

1) Impulsivity
2) Acting out in response to perceived rejection
3) deriving my self-esteem from outward sources
4) being inconsiderate - overwhelming people with my pain
5) ptsd associated with ex narc and suicide attempt
6) forgiving myself
7) learning to self-soothe in positive ways
feeling a need a man around so I'm not alone

I had DBT for a year and it temporarily resolved some of the issues. I've overcome a lot of #5 and mastered #7 and #3. #6 comes back with a vengeance, particularly when I look around and see the path of destruction created by my impulsivity and reactions to perceived rejection. Hard not to hate yourself when evidence of your failure is all around. #8 has always been the one I've most wanted to conquer, but I just can't shake it (mainly because I don't want to). I've already got my eye on a replacement for my former f-buddy. He's perfect - I don't like him TOO much (that's always problematic), but I like him enough.

Recent events have brought up a whole new set of problems in addition to the old ones. I've learned my abandonment issues are at a high pitch now that my ex has a new girlfriend. So, in addition to the others I now have:
1) intense depression and lethargy
2) inability to concentrate / lack of motivation
3) severe anxiety (in combination with my benzo addiction - not so good)
4) utter shame - I feel like I'm crazy and everyone knows it. Hard to hold my head up.

That said - at least I know what the issues are and I know how to go about resolving them (to an extent). It's just actually putting the plans into action - not drinking, exercising, not dating, meditating every day, sticking to a work schedule, not obsessing about my ex and what happened last year (and why I'm not over it etc etc etc). I have made few changes in the past few days, other than thinking about exercising, thinking about a schedule to begin Monday, coming out of my bedroom for longer periods of time, and spending time with people who care about me - like my best friend.

You just have to live with this illness. Every day is a struggle. These coping mechanisms are deeply engrained - I've been using them for years. Change is tough.

For me it has increased my anxiety (get frequent headaches, lower back pains, nerves etc), definetely way more lethargic, It hasn't done anything for my self worth, the hopelessness I feel, or suicidal ideation.

Prior to September I had been going to the gym 3 maybe 4 x a week. Since September I've been to the gym 3 maybe 4 x total. I'm doing a lot less just because I don't have the energy. I think dbt has confirmed for me that I'm just not a likeable person, and will never have friends or be married again. Maybe one day someone will come around and see some sort of goodness and help me discover myself again, but I realize that is unlikely to happen, and also things like that just don't happen to me. I do think people gain a certain amount of self worth from having friends or significant others. I have none, and it makes me realize how pathetic I am, and how that more than likely is not going to change. I now realize my only purpose on this Earth is to raise my kids, and other than that there is no purpose for me. So it's definetely has made me way more jaded than I was before.

I think dbt may be more designed and benifical for people that haven't given up and are somewhat more functional. My opinion.

lander083077 wrote:Most of my target behaviors are internal. The hypocrisy of life wears me thin and makes me think of existential issues. The one thing that might make this purposeless life worth while, I cannot seem to have- which makes me angry. I don't think DBT was adequately tuned to these issues. Nor do i think there is enough focus in the psych world to deal with the existential issues of turning atheist, while once extremely religious.

Pretty much disagree with all of the above.

1. I can somewhat relate to the Christianity issue and why would God create lives like ours, however that is more of an issue between the individual person and Pastor/leader of their faith. It's not something that is going to be solved in dbt.

2. It's not a psychology group. It's a group designed to change bad behaviors, and increase more effective behaviors. There is no need for more focus on Psychology, get a therapist or Psychologist for that if you need it.

3. Everything else seems somewhat personal philosphy on life. Its possible dbt could have some influence on this depending on how well the therapy works on an individual. This is another issue though that is probably better dealt with in individual therapy or with the leader of your church...

All my opinions of course.

I have to disagree with your disagreements.

1. This is not between me and a leader of a faith. Atheism is no more a faith or religion than not having a hobby is a hobby.

Christianity provides one with a set of coping skills. Coping skills i can no longer use as an Atheist. They are broken. Does DBT not deal with coping skills? Some examples of typical coping skills a Christian might use is saying "god works in mysterious ways" to deal with some confusing event. In the conversion to Atheism, those coping skills are lost. When you really think about it, there are far more examples of this kind of coping skills lost in the conversion. Another coping skill was to realize that God still loved me, even when others don't. Atheism provides no such safety net. I agree with you, and said in the first place, that DBT did not deal effectively with these issues.

2. I never said there was a need for more focus on psychology. I said there was a need for the psych world to focus more on the issues involving the transition of the religious to atheism. Please don't misinterpret me again and think I'm saying they need to advocate atheism. That is not what I'm saying. However, as the world increasingly abandons religion, there is a void of hundreds and thousands of years of the social construct called religion. This construct developed alongside real word problems as a means to cope.

Also, the group is a psychology group. Where do you think the research came from? More accurate might be to say.. its an applied psychology group. All of the skills taught by DBT have roots in PSY 101. As a sociology major, my classes range from psychology, sociology, anthropology, and even the sociology of religion. All those skills in DBT are derived from a systematic study utilizing those resources.

Finally, on this point, even though i never said there should be more focus on the psychology behind DBT, I do think their should be. I learned much more from studying the research behind DBT, than I did being in DBT and i feel many who suffer from BPD would benefit from the reasoning behind DBT.

3. DBT is designed to not only include skills training, but individual therapy. Why would you assume we did not discuss these things during those therapy session? The secular therapist, who was personally catholic, was not equipped to understand the complexity as they were seeing through a filtered lens themselves. Their underlying motivation is to "get him back to god", when i cant believe in god anymore than a child can go back to believing in Santa Clause after learning the truth.

I have valid, well thought out reasons for the statements I made. The psychology worlds needs to pay more attention to the issues involving a world transitioning from religion to atheism. I also understand that from the perspective of someone who IS religious, religion would seem a world away from psychological issues. .. but from a sociological perspective, religion is just one of the many social constructs in the world where humans might need psychological help.