I don't know what to do (DBT, withdrawal, etc.)

i told some ppl I cried once at least every day for 3 days over an abuse story and they thought it was because I was abuses,,NOOOO it just hit me hard.Cuz some things do that.

I was not abused, but I guess to a certain extent i might have been neglected in the past. I got issues, but not sure they are borderline. ( have never gone through a full out assessment)

Maybe try to talk to someone qbout why therapy makes you feel so bad...Yu want to take advantage of is if you can, because you do not want to end up wishing he had utilized it later on.

The therapy is meant to make you feel bad. That's the whole purpose. To trigger and then try and retrain your response mechanism to not react as you normally would to a trigger. To make you aware what triggers you and why.

It will really help in the long run. But it's a bumpy ride that's for sure. But trust me, nowhere near as bumpy as not following it and risk crossing the border into psychosis and back to neurosis on regular schedule.

We all are here on this site because we have issues. Some are more severe then others but nonetheless that how it is.

It totally futile to beat your head against the wall and ask 'why me' since it is how it is regardless if you could get answer.

Acceptance is the first big leap towards finding a way to work around the hurdles genetics put in your way. And it is possible. My partner went from a complete psychosis were she tried to kill me several times to a caring, loving quirky person (with a long user-manual )

Just hang in there and look forwards.

petrossa wrote:The therapy is meant to make you feel bad. That's the whole purpose. To trigger and then try and retrain your response mechanism to not react as you normally would to a trigger. To make you aware what triggers you and why.

I don't know if I agree that it's meant to make you feel bad... I think it may have to do with how the person chooses to run the group. I've read some posts on here from others that make it seem as if it's strict and maybe not very supportive.

My DBT group is run quite the opposite. I'd say it's very supportive, and in no way has anyone ever been made to feel bad, probably the opposite if anything.

Let's put it this way: The therapy is meant to be confrontational. To elicit the 'wrong' reactions to triggers and then reanchor them to correct reactions through an awareness process.

Cognitive --- With the mind, by reason.

I am sure that each therapist has his/her own way of doing it.

I guess I'm now using this thread as a journal or something... Not expecting any replies, but if you have something to say, it'll make me happy.

I don't know what to do with my life AT ALL. I'm now on my second university degree... I dropped out of the first university (music major) after two years, in 2006. Then I began my current studies (physics, now concentrating on medical physics/engineering and applied maths) and was happy with my choice for a few years. Then last January it struck me that I don't want to work as a medical engineer and sit in front of a computer for the rest of my life. I decided that I want to become a doctor instead. Tried to get into medical school this year, but failed the entrance exam... Then I thought I might as well try to finish my current M.Sc. (I finished the B.Sc. degree already). But I still want to reapply to medical school next year, and it will take more than a year to finish this M.Sc... So what's the point in continuing with my current studies now, if I'll go to another school next year and probably in another city too?

Today I missed an exam, because I have horrible exam anxiety and just couldn't bring myself to go. I've been contemplating just dropping out of my current school for good, and then I could either apply for some unemployment benefits or try to get some kind of a #######5 job. But with my job history, it's not very likely I can land a job... I have basically no experience in customer service, so for example grocery stores wouldn't want to hire me. I spent one summer delivering mail and that was kind of ok, but I never got the testimonial that my boss promised to send me after the summer. So if I tried to apply for a similar job again, that experience would be useless since I couldn't prove it. I feel like I'm at a dead end with my life... Even if I somehow manage to stay alive and get by for another year, and actually pass the med school entrance exam next spring, how can I ever become a doctor if I have BPD? Am I destined to live on social security for the rest of my life? It seems like I can't even handle the stress of my current studies or any summer jobs I've had, so how could I handle the stress of being a doctor? And I definitely don't want to end up in a job that any well-trained monkey could do. I'm way too smart for that. (Sorry if that sounded arrogant, but that's the way it is.)

Today, I was walking to the grocery store to buy something to binge on because I was feeling so horrible. Then a large truck drove by with high speed... For a second, jumping in front of the truck felt like a good idea. I think of suicide daily, but the thoughts aren't usually that clear. I've been crying all day. Tomorrow I'll discuss with my therapists whether I'll continue DBT or not, and I still haven't decided what to do. I probably need help, but practicing those stupid skills will not help me to decide what to do with my life. Right now, death seems like the best option, since I'm not capable to achieve the things I want from life.

DBT was in first instance specially designed for people with suicide ideation. I'd for sure would follow through with it. It has helped many people.

petrossa wrote:DBT was in first instance specially designed for people with suicide ideation. I'd for sure would follow through with it. It has helped many people.

Even if DBT would help me get rid of the suicidal thoughts and feelings, I'd still have a sh!tty life that couldn't be improved. DBT cannot change that. I feel like I've ruined my life for good many years ago already... And on top of it all, my therapist is such an idiot she had told me the wrong day and time for the discussion that I thought would have taken place this morning. It's tomorrow morning instead. I don't know whether I'll even bother to go... What can they tell me that I don't already know? "Just be MINDFUL and everything's gonna be alright!" What a bunch of crap.

Ask yourself a question, what would you ideally like your life to be like and how do your actions and thoughts contribute to that?

Each negative answer make up a list of actions/thoughts that are counter productive. One by one start to work on changing them so they become productive.

That way you can do your own custom made therapy. Sound simple because it is. Life is in the mind, so effectively its under your control.

I am scared about starting a DBT skills training and I feel for what your facing. I think from all I've researched on DBT skills training will be helpful. HOWEVER, my fear is it being with other patients. It is not a 'talk' therapy. It is expensive which most insurance companies do not pay for so I worry that others in the group will try to use it as a 'talk' therapy. I want to learn as much as I can and I will reveiw all my assignments with my individual therapist who is not associated with the same place thankfully. I tend to get "ideas" from others who share their behavior they choose to work on when they share it in the group. I am not capable of not viewing it as tucking it away til another time. My therapist will not be working with the dbt therapist at all which allows for me to feel safte with continuing my one on one. I am ok that my therapist speaks with his own co-workers if he struggles and needs support. I have much trauma in the mental health world and to keep working on my healing process, I have to keep them separate. I want to learn the skills but I have found it can be done without actually being with other patients. I care where they are at, but I am a very confidential person. I have a good support system which is nice. Life is worth living, but will agree that it takes real hard work to process individual life experiences. I hope you have someone in your life you can turn to. I have found hotlines that helps in between session times. I find a hobby has help me process, which is crocheting. I hope you don't give in. If you can, count the same color in everything you see around you. or, count backwards by 3 from 100. smell a candle. I feel your pain and anguish. am my therapist would tell me, i need to go thlu the He** to begin to heal. I am still in the process. I am terrified of absorbing others ideas that they have used, but I do want to learn the dbt skills.