I will beat this relapse...

I'm back in the saddle again...

I was diagnosed with BPD 2 years ago. I was on Medication up until just over a year ago (Seraqual XR) but, I decided to come off it. I have done really, really well up until the last 2 weeks.

Everything has been coming back but twice as bad. I am struggling and am dealing with things as best as I can as things pop up.

I am 31, I have 4 Children, I work and I am also studying (which I have put on hold for the moment whilst I get past this).

How have others dealt with relapses? I have thought about going back into Hospital but I find that coming out back to reality is just as hard as dealing with these issues in the real world.

I suppose I would have to ask what do you mean by relapse? As far as I know with this disorder, having had it for the last 22 years, there are no 'relapses' per se, but when life gets very stressful it can re-trigger the core wound (which, even in recovery, is still there--just with a nice comfy scab!).

Perhaps if you could tell us what makes you think you're relapsing we can help with a specific symptom or problem?

Sounds like you have a lot going on in your life, any average joe would be having some stress from such a full life, maybe it's just a gentle reminder to yourself (or not so gentle, you didn't tell us what the relapse was) to slow down and take it easy for a time.

Hi beetle!

I guess my questions are close to Kira's - what do you constitute as a relapse?

With all that you have on your plate, I commend you for being able to be off medication and holding it all together - that's a big deal, and I hope you give yourself some credit for it :0). Sometimes we can't see the little miracles we perform in ourselves and only can see the bad and ugly...

I do hope the best for you, and maybe it would be time to consider going back on some type of medication to help you through this rough time?

*hugs*

AMP

Hi

Perhaps I've worded it wrongly but, I am classing it as a relapse as I have not been as bad as I am at the moment in such a long time.

I've had this since I was 12. I've had ups and downs but, this is the worst down that I have ever had. I suppose I could also call it a backslide or a reoccurance or something like that as although I know I have BPD, it sits in the wings quietly most of the time now. I suppose it's about time I had a bout of it though - it ws too good to be true for a while there!

-- Wed Sep 21, 2011 12:22 am --

Relpase is also the word my Psych used on the phone yesterday when I made an appointment with him...

Let's consider BPD something you recover from , like cancer. It lies dormant, "in remission".

Relapse is a term used for addicts that use again, they are 'relapsing' back to old behaviors. It's strange that your pdoc used the term for BPD, it shows that he/she only has an understanding of the behavioral aspect of the disorder-- it isn't the whole picture anyway because BPD is neurological, something you have for life even if you control the behaviors that would occur.

Give yourself a vacation, if you can afford it, or at least a day off to unwind and relax. If you are a trauma survivor some of these 'residues' will surface and you just have to make room for them and allow yourself extra time to de-stress and remember, they're just feelings-- maybe strong, but still feelings and you can ground yourself while experiencing the distress.

If we can help more, please let us know. It sounds like you have the right attitude toward it, the can-do one!

Best

i just got put on Seroquel XR, so I am wondering..did it work while you were on it? I am just wondering...

ANyway, it does sound like your life is stressful like everyone is saying. I wouls try slowing down and trying to figure out what exactly is causing it to get worse... Though I have bouts of depression that seem really random. Does thisbad patch seem random to you?

Hi,

What made you come off the meds and do you think trying them again or something different might help? Like others have suggested sounds like destressing and relaxing for a while will help of you can reduce lifes pressures through this phase, and of course talking and venting here *hugs*

Thank you for your replies.

I am going to find a different Psych. I live in Australia and after speaking to my Doctor today, he has referred me to one who has a specialty in BPD.

Seraquil XR was good. I did find it helped. I came off it as I wasn't able to function on it as I got better. I was also on an anti depressant which I came off slowly a few weeks later. I found that the Seraquil did help. I was on the normal Seraquil but, the XR worked better for me. I didn't have to remember to take it so many times per day and I could actually feel it wearing off.

I have taken the day off work I also had tomorrow off already and yesterday was my weekly RDO so, I've had a 3 week break. I've tried to do some things that I enjoy and focus only on myself (sewing, drawing, singing, painting) and am feeling a little bit better.

My life is hectic at the best of times - the work, kids and study are all things that i deal with every day. I've recently had some complications to my lap band which has put my eating all out of whack. I spoke to my Surgeron about my BPD at lenghth yesterday and he said he has a BI Polar patient who he sees and they go through the same thing.

I'm feeling a bit better. It's just the way I deal with the stress is not productive. I don't want to go back on Medication. I think I can get over this. It's just a matter of finding time for me again. I've ha a lot of stresses over the past few months and although I dealt with them at the time, perhaps it's all just built up.

I'm thinking of staying away on Saturday night at a day spa to rejuivinate before heading into work on Monday :/

It sounds like you're on the right track.

spa sounds good! you sound like you are doing pretty good. I love drawinf as well and in the next yerar or two I will be taking a painting class :3.

it is awesome you get to go to someone who specializes in BPD

yeah I am hoping the seroquel will help me , but...I hvw only been on it ..a week and a hald..I know it takes longer than that but I am desperate for relief >_< . Did you take 150 mg like me? Thanks for the info on it.