so unfair!

alright...many of you know about the break-up with my boyfriend and that we got back together...

here's the deal. He went away for school in september. Before he left we were on great terms! Things were sooo great! I felt so much love towards him and a lot of respect for the times he was there for me. I was proud of him. I was feeling proud of us. We got got through a lot...you know how bpd affects relationships. He was being really sweet as well. We set up rules/guidelines, such as, we have to talk every night on the phone/skype, don't talk to the opposite sex with interest, involve one another in each other's lives (tell him what I'm doing, how i am doing, tell him about the new friends i make and vice versa).

But here comes the problem....

He stopped talking to me, completely. Last time i messaged him was four days ago, but he still didn't reply to me. No text, no call. NOTHING! I've been strong and I haven't messaged him just to see what he would do.

It all started with him not talking to me as much. He said he was sick, trying to settle into the new place, trying to make friends, so he was busy. Except how busy can one be to not text his gf at least once to ask HOW ARE YOU ######6 DOING ARE YOU STILL ######6 ALIVE MY GIRLFRIEND?! like holy mother fkljdsklfjldksf! So i told him. My dear boyfriend, talk to me more because I feel out-casted and not a part of your life anymore. I reacted by getting drunk alone and cutting myself...but like...not my fault. I was going through a massive breakdown and felt completely ###$ since he left, especially since he wasn't talking to me as much. He found out about the one night drinking and cutting...and the next day he got drunk himself. I talked to him through it and i was being pretty sweet. I didn't get angry, even though that same night I asked him nicely, with a please, to talk to me. He said he was in a cab and going out so he couldn't talk to me, once again. But sadly...he got drunk that night instead of talking to me. Anyway, he knocked out and went to sleep when i was on the phone with him. The next day I sent a picture of myself and texted RISE AND SHINE! i was being really sweet. He barely talked to me..but whatever, i tried not to burst out in anger so he could have some space. Sadly, that night went out again..so we didn't talk at all that day either. The morning of following night, i went on Facebook to check my messages (if he messaged me) and he left me a long fuc*king message about how confused he is and that some dumb chick told him HE CAN'T HELP ME ONLY YOUR GIRLFRIEND CAN HELP HERSELF AND THAT HE WAS IMMATURE TO TRY TO CHANGE ME...but he didn't break up with me. Ever since then i messaged him saying i want to make things work out, i love you, whatever sweet thing i could think of...BUT NO ######6 REPLY.

How can someone be SO evil? I am the bpd, not you. I was never so evil towards him! How could he do this...talks to everyone on Facebook, gets drunk, messages people to ask how they are doing (saw this all on Facebook) BUT HE CAN'T MESSAGE ME TO SEE IF IM DEAD OR ALIVE? like goddamit! he read my messages but ignored it. Even my mother messaged him asking what's wrong because i've been acting crazy and depressed...

this guy wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. According to him he loves me a lot. What happened to everything he said? I want to ....do a lot of things to him and it's not very pleasant .

This is complete abandonment!

HEEEELPPPPPPPPP! :'(

My first question would be: WHO is this GIRL that told him that he cannot help you? And what she said takes precedence over YOUR relationship?

Girlfriend, it sounds like dude is pulling back and out. If he has time to FB, then he definitely has time to text you. If he wanted to, he would have.

I know that sounds harsh, but it is the truth. I think you need to cut some ties with him, because this has "disaster" written all over it.

AMP

that girl is some chick he just met at school. I have no idea who that slew is...i want to beat up both of them for being SO EVIL! He probably ###$ her and liked it...that ######6 pervert and that stupid @@@@@@@! MIND MY LANGUAGE

I want to cut all ties and I'm stopping myself from messaging him. It just hurts, a lot.

When i just gave my all and my trust...this is what happened. I was even getting better.

He is a coward and a terrible person that doesn't deserve to be living...at least go live in a cave so you don't hurt more people!

He IS an ass, but there are many more in your future. They're everywhere :0)!!! I'm teasing, and trying to make a little light here.

Maybe that isn't going to go over well...

I'm so sorry LW. This doesn't sound like the guy for you, though... and I'm sorry that you were getting better.

You know what? You should do your BEST not to let this ruin your progress- that was YOUR progress, not HIS. And let him miss the BEST you that there is...

Still, what a jerk. And I hope that girl's lips fall off her face.

AMP

MissAli wrote:My first question would be: WHO is this GIRL that told him that he cannot help you? And what she said takes precedence over YOUR relationship?

MissAli wrote:My first question would be: WHO is this GIRL that told him that he cannot help you? And what she said takes precedence over YOUR relationship?

MissAli wrote:My first question would be: WHO is this GIRL that told him that he cannot help you? And what she said takes precedence over YOUR relationship?

No, that was not a typo. It is just so true that quoting it once didn't seem sufficient.

He's blowing off his girlfriend and taking the advice of some broad he just met as to how to work a relation that doesn't even involve her? Wow, that is about fifteen levels of wrong. As is his posting on FB but not having enough time for send you a "hi, honey" message once in a while. I don't care if you have a PD or not, there's no reason for him to treat you like that.

you're right.

I don't deserve this, nobody does. I never treated him so unfairly, all i did was give him love and expect it back. He's a ###$.

LW-

Honestly, hon, it doesn't sound like you have done anything wrong. I think that this guy must be looking for a reason to bail.

I hate saying that, because it hurts, but DO NOT let him make it about your BPD. Because it ISN'T, and I think he is trying to use that against you so that YOU feel responsible for the failing of the realtionship. But if his dirty a$$ wants to go and pork a bunch of college co-eds, then I hope he gets syphillis. Or chlamydia. Or HPV. Or the clap. because HE DESERVES IT.

College men are easily led by their penis. Never forget that.

But regardless, do NOT let him turn this on you. Some uni girl has NO idea about BPD, but if wants to listen to HER over YOUR relationship, then f***k his a$$.

We are here for you girl!!! <3

AMP

Thank you Ali!

He can't use bpd against me because i tried my best to do what was right. I don't think i did anything wrong either. He messaged me last night when he was drunk saying how much he loves me and he can't stop thinking about me and that he's addicted to me. What an idiot...time to f*ck him up with the mind games i play with him. I am in love with him, but i need him to learn to respect me. Nobody can walk out on me like that...i will not let him do $#%^ like this with me again. He will get it back.

And he said he did't do anything with any girl...he said it when he was drunk that he is not attracted to any girl, i always come up on his mind. I think he tried to move on from me but he can't because he is actually in love with me and has become too comfortable with me.

God he sounds like my ex.

Aviodent, co dependent, listens to ######6 strangers for no goddamn reasons, cares about what other people think, back and forth, drinks alot

Ugh it triggered me lol

I hear you lonely <3 I'm sorry your going though this. We work really hard to get people to love us. You know whats funny?

Sometimes when I'm being my sweetest, I feel like I get treated the worst. You ever feel that way?

He won't leave you though. Even if he does he'll keep coming back. He is addicted to you.

He treats you like that because on some level he feels like a puss knowing someone has that much control over him. ( Not your fault btw )

Do you ever stand back and realize how much control you have over people?

It is an insane amount. Even if it doesn't always feel like it.

That is how it is with BPD