Earning trust

How do you earn back trust from people who have suffered from your bad behaviour, I mean, like me for example, I used to lie all the time to manipulate my hubby to do things or to agree with me, and when he found out, he got really angry, but these days, even when I'm being sincere about something, he still calls me a liar, because he finds it hard to believe me. I know it's the consequence of my behaviour, and I'm extremely sorry and remorseful, but what really hurts me, is that he does it when I'm being sincere. I wouldn't mind it so much if I wasn't being sincere, because it'd be the truth, but it just feels completely unfair that he won't believe me when I'm trying really hard to be better. I can't do much more than I'm doing to earn his trust but it's convincing him that I'm not lying anymore, that's the hard part

Hmm. Have you tried asking him how it made him feel when you lied? You could talk about how remorseful you've felt lately and ask him how he's doing with it, if it's still hurting him.

To be honest, I don't really want to ask him because he's going to say, 'Well what do you expect after lying to me'. I've tried to tell him before about how I feel, but he says it's actions not words, although I'm not sure how I can do that if he doesn't believe me in the first place.

Oh and another thing, he's on Champix/chantix at the moment to quit his smoking and his memory is atrocious. So, like today, he asked me why there are so many half bags of Doritos in the cupboard when he's asked me to clear them out (they tend to open a bag, eat half, chuck it back in and open another one when they find the chips in the open bags have gone all soft and horrible). I did clear out the bags a couple of weeks ago, because I buy two bags of doritos a week.

Cue champix memory -'But I told you to clear the cupboard a few days ago, don't give me your bs, I'm sick of it' (he didn't, not a few days ago, anyway). So we had an arguement about frikking Doritos. Wth? It just feels like sometimes he's just bringing up the fact that I lied just to win arguments. I'm so fed up I'm not talking to him.