Been in a horrible mixed state all day..

I'm not sure if I like it or hate it. I'm not sure if I've been rude or polite all day. Have I talked too much? Or too little? I'm starving but not hungry at all. I'm happy and energetic and I'm depressed and need to sleep. I want to cut my wrist but I rather get a tattoo.

One good thing came from it.. I managed to make 5 phone calls that I've been putting off for at least two months.

I'm sorry that this post is just all over the place. I can't make up my mind about anything. I just put my shoes on to go for a walk and then took them off because I changed my mind. Ugh!

Does this happen to you guys?

I feel paranoid of everyone. I feel like they're mad at me. I've put my fiancé through too much today. But he says he's not mad. I don't know maybe he is. I'm afraid. I guess I haven't done anything wrong yet though.

I'll go get lost in the forums now and hopefully get back to knowing what I'm doing.

Yes, it happens to me too- up down and all over the place. I must look totally mad- I will always have at least 5 jobs on the go at once. I can multi-task brilliantly. Just don't ask me if I've finished any of those jobs, because I won't have and I'll get upset about it.

What do I feel? Wait 5 minutes and it will have changed. And I get the paranoid feeling too- especially if people near me or around me are talking in whispers. I'll decide I'm going to do something, get organised and into it and half an hour later I'll be completely over it.

I feel like my brain goes too fast and it just skips over things.

Well done on making the phonecalls.

i'm sorry my reply will probably bereaally $#%^,im not in a mized state im mostly in a chardonnay state LOL. (£5 bottle, tastws like $#%^ LOL) prefer rioja/chianti/chablis never mind

so pls excyse me if i dont understadn very we;ll, i dont mean if i miss anythin. sorry you're feeling confused, ive gone thrpough imilar things when dealijg with trauma, feelijg one way then feeling a different way 5mins later (sorry i have temporaty typing definciency disoreder, lol.)

sometimes i just feel... i dont know if paranoid is the right word, about people in general, i don't trust them.

i'd reallly like to get a tattoo too, but want to get something i really like, and not reaally kniowing whp tyou are tends to inteferre wooth knowing what you want. i'm planning to got to the next tatoo convention to have a look around, also , seems fair to to xcheck loved ones think it looks good too, tho i would definitely go for what i like.

i was mad earlier... lol. mostly cause of my own problems and *i do not want to challenge my disordered thinking but hell; do i have to unless i want to wind up having wrexcked my entire life not the first xx years of it* but Lily, to tell the truth, people put each other thrugh stuff a lot, maybe you're fiance was pissed off at you, but maybe its also ok, cause we are all human, and we do stuff lijke that sometimews..... i'm sure he loves you problems can be gotten over.

i can multitaskj ok-ish, or at least i am at my best when i am busy. i probably have that the wrong way round - im probably busy when im at my best.

sorry for the muddled reply

Well done for making the phonecalls you've been putting off! i'm not a big fan of phones either, so i can understand putting them off.



yeah, ig nore me tonite oops.