shall i just pack up and move??

today has been such a crappy day. all ive wanted to do is just burst into tears..but ive managed to hold it in. today i am just so fed up, feel so trapped, feel so stuck, i have been so irritable all day, but the thing thats upset me the most is that its been mainly with my lil boy...i am SO angry with myself.

All of this led from an argument with my mum this morning. im sick of it, im sick of the fact that her or other family can not see that it is not always me that causes an argument...in fact i rarely do, my problem is the way i react to the way they behave or speak to me...i get sooooo angry and the it just ends up with me looking like the bad one. im so fed up of it....they are always in some way or other at the route of all my emotions...without all the arguments etc etc etc im sure my head would become pretty level.

I understand the word 'trigger' now and i knida get the need to ged rid of these triggers. well my main trigger is arguments with family...well arguments in general, but i only tend to argue with certain family members. So this brings me to the post...do i move??? if we stay where we are then i will always be in contact with my family which will always mean arguing and upset, i become an angry mum and end up ruining my sons life (which i would literally rather die than do) or do we just move away somewhere new, start again somewhere, be who ever i want to be, and then i wouldnt be triggered by my main trigger anymore and maybe just maybe i could begin to allow myself to start to become happy

This is all getting me down so much at the moment i really need something to change. Im scared that otherwise on a crappy day i will seriously listen to these thoughts about not being here anymore

Heya,

I believe that, in life, people too often run away from problems, but this doesn't usually solve the problem at all. It simply brings it to a new place. The change can make it seem good for a 'while', but ultimately the problems could resurface. For now, it would be better to accept the situation as it is and to make amnds to improve it. You can alawys look forward to a move in the future (and indeed you should start planning for it right now) but, for now, please try to stay where you are and to think of ways that you could improve the situation.

Your family might never fully understand you. Therefore - and unfortunately - you as the clever one will have to be the one to change/adapt your behaviour to what's going on. you dont have to have a weonderful relationship with them, but a functioning/civil relationship is ideal... How could you go about achieving that????

Take care
Kevin

'Extreme emotions' are problematic beahviour in BPD. BPD overreacts.

I think leaving is best solution. But before leaving you should run through all the calculations like paying rent, food, any other support you may be getting from family etc.

I want to leave my elder brother who is a BPD and lving with us. But the problem is i dont have a job right now and cant pay rent.

Chucky wrote:Heya,

I believe that, in life, people too often run away from problems, but this doesn't usually solve the problem at all. It simply brings it to a new place. The change can make it seem good for a 'while', but ultimately the problems could resurface. For now, it would be better to accept the situation as it is and to make amnds to improve it. You can alawys look forward to a move in the future (and indeed you should start planning for it right now) but, for now, please try to stay where you are and to think of ways that you could improve the situation.

Your family might never fully understand you. Therefore - and unfortunately - you as the clever one will have to be the one to change/adapt your behaviour to what's going on. you dont have to have a weonderful relationship with them, but a functioning/civil relationship is ideal... How could you go about achieving that????

Take care
Kevin

Hey kevin,totaly get what u saying. But I really cant see how it ever gona work.i try hard not to react to the way they speak to me but it almost like someone else takes over my body! My mind is telling me 'stop! Dont react! Please!' but my body doesnt listen. I just know and am scared that stayin in the town I am in is gonna keep bringing me down to the point where I will not ever be able to get back up.

-- Thu Sep 01, 2011 8:47 pm --

kevin3210 wrote:'Extreme emotions' are problematic beahviour in BPD. BPD overreacts.

I think leaving is best solution. But before leaving you should run through all the calculations like paying rent, food, any other support you may be getting from family etc.

I want to leave my elder brother who is a BPD and lving with us. But the problem is i dont have a job right now and cant pay rent.

hey,thanks. 4 reply. I have my own home-well mortgage,i probably own a slate or something! Id have to sell it to move. I wish I didnt have it! If I didnt I would literaly move tomoz!! You are defo right though-best decision is to get outa this place,im feeling like im drowning at the mo!

unity1 wrote:Hey kevin,totaly get what u saying. But I really cant see how it ever gona work.i try hard not to react to the way they speak to me but it almost like someone else takes over my body! My mind is telling me 'stop! Dont react! Please!' but my body doesnt listen. I just know and am scared that stayin in the town I am in is gonna keep bringing me down to the point where I will not ever be able to get back up.

Well, you at least seem to haev thought about what I said ... haha. I 'ran away' from my home country (Ireland) because I was dismayed at the way of life there. I've been in the UK for two years and now look back fondly on Ireland. I think that you have to extract yourself from a situation like I was in order to discover how much or little you love what you're running from.

In light of that, maybe 'running' is best in your case, but don't rush it. It can be something to look forward to in a planned way.

Kevin

Ur right:-) I have a few days away from today with my lil boy.a good chance to think.thank u.x