Is Depression Different in BPD?

I read an article that says that depression in BPD is different than other kinds of depression. The article didn't really describe the differences; however, now I am curious. Can anyone tell me what is different about BPD depression?

I would say it's different in the manner that all emotions are different in BPD...
In a unique kind of complexity...

Most BPDers can't convey a complex emotion. They are perceived as extremely basic, one emotion at a time, but I submit that the idea we actually FEEL on a basic level is wrong... we CONVEY on a basic level, yes.

My depression is usually more of a torrential storm of sadness, anger and psychosis. Most of my emotions are usually some kind of mixture of emotions, but they come out as a singular emotion amplified several thousand times. Why that is, I'm unsure. I'm able to feel many things, all at once, but trying to explain what I feel is uncomfortable. I'm... afraid of how it feels, what it sounds like to feel all... no, that all sounds wrong... I'm not sure... I can never talk about what I feel really.

Honestly though... having never been "normally depressed" how would someone know if they're "differently depressed"?

I have actually been depressed. Like not-wanting-to-leave-my-bedroom depressed. I was also in a Major Depression when I was in lockdown last year, but I also had that sprinkled in with some psychosis.

I do believe that it is difficult for us to convey more than one emotion at a time -but can normal people do it? I mean, how can you be sad and happy at the same time? Wouldn't that be impossible? I dunno. I think that's why my emotions range so much and so quickly, is because I can't feel more than one at a time. But then again, I could be all misguided today. I'm not feeling good.

I think depression for us is much more sharp-feeling. Not as dull, not as long-winded, because we feel the depths of despair in our depression. Or, at least that is how it goes with me.

Kind of like a "woe is me" feeling. My own, that is.

AMP

MissAli wrote:I do believe that it is difficult for us to convey more than one emotion at a time -but can normal people do it? I mean, how can you be sad and happy at the same time? Wouldn't that be impossible?

My mom says normal people feel more than one emotion...
They can also feel nothing and it's not uncomfortable or like feeling empty. Empty is something else entirely...
Then there's "contentment" which is like feeling nothing, but on the happy side of nothing, and that doesn't even make a whole lot of sense to me...

It's all very confusing.

I feel confused a lot, trying to explain emotions... Mine or anyone else's.

I'm the last person in this solar system who should be counseling anyone on "emotion" :0)

But regardless, I feel crappy today, and it shows. I feel like my head is a big giant cloudy mess.

But yes, back to the original thought pattern here - I do believe that our feelings of depression are definitely different than others'. But then again, does duration or intensity matter most, as trump, in depression? Because mine are always a shorter period, just intense as hell.

AMP

MissAli wrote:But yes, back to the original thought pattern here - I do believe that our feelings of depression are definitely different than others'. But then again, does duration or intensity matter most, as trump, in depression? Because mine are always a shorter period, just intense as hell.

All my emotions are short and intense as hell...
(Can sense the sexual innuendo of this moment... but ignores it)

Really, I don't know if BPD depression is different from "normal" depression. I know what my depressions feel like, but since everyone acts differently, unless you've had a "normal" depression and a BPD depression (and remembered the differences, as it may be a while in between), it's hard to say what, if any differences exist. We may be more likely to respond particular ways, but I don't think that it makes HOW we feel any different.

MissAli wrote:But regardless, I feel crappy today, and it shows. I feel like my head is a big giant cloudy mess.

Why, Ali; what's wrong? Anything in particular?

Good point, JohnnyBlaze.

I've been working on getting the flu since last night, and I feel like I spent my day at work underwater. I slept for 3.5 hours when I got home, and feel a tad better, but I'm headed back to bed. I hear that its going around here, so I guess I'm just a lucky recipient :0(.

I hate getting sick. It makes me whiny and unhappy. And no one is rubbing my back.

Pitiful. I know.

AMP

I think that I am not even capable of understanding the question that I asked. I can't make any sense out of my emotions. I started taking Prozac five weeks ago and it made me so depressed that I started coming up with a suicide plan. Then a week ago I switched to Lexapro and am still feeling depressed. It's a hopeless kind of feeling, rooted in the feeling of being completely unworthy of love or feeling safe. I usually feel bad, however, depression isn't my main problem. Now the depression is overwhelming. Not sure if I am depressed on my own or the SSRI's are contributing.

SmileXx wrote:My depression is usually more of a torrential storm of sadness, anger and psychosis. Most of my emotions are usually some kind of mixture of emotions, but they come out as a singular emotion amplified several thousand times. Why that is, I'm unsure. I'm able to feel many things, all at once, but trying to explain what I feel is uncomfortable. I'm... afraid of how it feels, what it sounds like to feel all... no, that all sounds wrong... I'm not sure... I can never talk about what I feel really.

Honestly though... having never been "normally depressed" how would someone know if they're "differently depressed"?

I've been both.

"triggered depression" is like that torrential storm, for me its anger turned inwards, psychological pain, hurt, i think. i get exactly the same thing with everything amplified several thousand times and shoved into one emotion, and it just exhausts me and knocks me out so im incapable of doing anything, end up feeling completely drained and have to sleep it off.

Its less like "an emotion" for me, and more like the mood equivalent of having the $#%^ beaten out of me. lol

"normal depression", is something i realised i'd never experienced before until after i integrated i spent ? a month ? more ? you know what, i don't know. just feeling like there was no point. i felt like any positive emotion had been drained out of me.

it felt quiet, and sad, and pointless, i guess i felt listless, and like there was no point going on. it wasn't like a huge hit of random meaningless pain, it was more like just... sadness. which i had never felt like that before.