I think i might have BPD

I know i have alcohol problems and i do have anxiety dissorder aswel so bare that in mind but i also think i have something else... Maybe bpd

I know im not normal i do not feel normal... Or act normal

Im always falling out with people family, friends and relationships never seem to work im 22 and my longest relationship has been 6 months long and i caused her to leave me.

I have such high standards in everything high standards as in people like how they should act and how they should live their live, loyalties and values if someone does not meet my standards (as i think im really mature & right) i think they are bad people or useless and not worthy of being friends with BUT i s choose to hang around with them because i have no one else...

I argue with my so called friends telling them the way they think is WRONG.. i tell them their politics , family situations, way of life is wrong.. the worst of all i tell these people i hang around with they are NOT my friends, i think there always talking and slagging me off behing my back, im sure they dont like me sometimes i dont care because the way they live is wrong

I have NO friends... I have the view of if someone is not 100% loyal and trustworthy and dont slip in my standars of way of life they will never be my friend,

Ive been bullied all my life... Physical and verbally everyday at school.. and i mean everyday, constant bruises on me.. ive never had no friends

My family have never cared for me.. never gave a $#%^ about me, they dont listen to me or give me any attention as a child or even now that they should give me,.. were not talking right now.. because ive told them how bad parents they are, how my alcoholism is due to them not being there for me and same with my anxiety

I do tend to blame everyone else..

I HATE MY OWN COMPANY & FEEL LONELY MY WHOLE LIFE i feel empty and like life is never going to change, i feel useless lonely & im always out critising people even tho i cannot be without them,

I get angry at the world, i believe the world is a dump because everyone has the wrong attitudes in life and think and do things all wrong..

I tell my friends they are not my friends.. because they are rubbish but always out every night with them because i hate being alone

With relationships il choose any girl to go out with JUST because i dont want to be alone even tho i know it wont work il try just in case but i always push them away because im ALWAYS telling her how rubbish of a girlfriend she is and shes doing things all wrong

Im forever telling girlfriends they dont speak enough to me, and im always telling them how they should do things and act and treat me as a boyfriend and it never works so i get angry we fall out and i start getting nasty... All because they dont meet my loyalties and values ect

Then straight after a relationship im looking for the next one because i feel alone and feel empty with no one in my life but il try choose any girl just because its someone

Friendships dont seem to last long.. nor relationships,

I feel as if i cant deal with life alone and cannot get any further

If someone upsets me i fly off the handle and then because they have upset me i know they now are never gunna be a friend or girlfriend again so il start getting nasty

Im always getting told by people including random people on the net, my mother.. and from friends that i am sick in the head, im ill not right in the head ect.. and im fed up of it i think its them thats wrong.. i never or very rarely believe im in the wrong it is everyone else

If someone upsets me il go out and spend money getting drunk..

I dont know what i have.. or how to deal with life or people

Im always confused some people think im a weirdo and then i have other people telling me im a really nice guy..

Im always expecting people to txt me back... And when they dont i find it rude and dissloyal and not friends way of treating someone, if someone ignores me i get mad and cause arguments

My mother says im not a friendly person, but shes never been there for me so i dont care what she thinks

Does any of this sound like BPD? Or am i just a weirdo?

I hate people in general and have high standards in everything people should do, think, act

Check out OCPD; it's an anxiety-based PD (Cluster C) and the "high standards" are a dysfunctional perfectionism of having things a certain way to compensate for the irrational anxieties (as a proxy for control). The right-or-wrong mindset and pervasive judging of others is typical.

I believe there are elements of OC behavior that are part of the bi-polar nature of BPD, so don't rule it out, but based on your post there aren't the stimulation-seeking elements of Cluster B PDs present.

Hey i Really understand how you feel. someone pointed out that i might have bpd. and how you think is basily how i think that everyone in this soicty is wrong expect for me and i feel so alone in this world cause no one dont understand hows i feel at all. i wish of killing myself cause i feel so alone but im glad that you said all of this so i don't feel like how the way i was thinking is like crazy cause no one likes my behaivor also i get into fights with my friends alot most of the time i don't concider friends of mine cause we fight so much about differnt logic i don't like normal people logic at all.
i hate how everyone thinks is cool to do drugs i feel like im above it and no one can pre pressuer me to do it. and i hate that everyone go to raves are program to do estacy cause your at a rave. i hate how people don't think about others or long term i don't like bums. i have very high standerds. i keep breaking up with my recent bf for almost 9 months probaly like 10 times cause he does things i don't like and i get annoyed so easily and when im fustrated i get very angry with everyone around me. im sometimes volient. i feel empty and i feel like this isn't the reality im post to be in.

realitycheque wrote:Check out OCPD; it's an anxiety-based PD (Cluster C) and the "high standards" are a dysfunctional perfectionism of having things a certain way to compensate for the irrational anxieties (as a proxy for control). The right-or-wrong mindset and pervasive judging of others is typical.

I believe there are elements of OC behavior that are part of the bi-polar nature of BPD, so don't rule it out, but based on yourimulation-seeking elements of Cluster B PDs present.

Well i am not bi-polar im nothing like that, plus i know someone very well with bi-polar and i am nothing like her plus if she thought i had bi-polar she would have mentioned it.

As far as OCPD is concerned that sounds nothing like me either maybe one or two things but nothing major i am not into lists, schedules timelines ect im not even ito doing things perfect or washing ect anything like that

But i do have slight OCD and i can probably guess your laughing right now i do check things an awful lot which makes me anxious and things have to be done a certain way sometimes but never lists, cleanings ect

I just agree im a weirdo... The thing with the OCPD u mentioned about high standards yes i have very high standards, values, loyalties ect ect BUT! From what i expect from others and NOT myself im not a perfectionist i view my high morrals and standards of what i expect my girlfriends, family and friends to hold not necessary my own things in what i do, (as i believe if im expecting high standards, morrals, ect from others i must be doing things right myself if i am expecting others too so i take no notice in myself)

-- Mon Jul 11, 2011 3:12 am --

luckynumber2b22 wrote:Hey i Really understand how you feel. someone pointed out that i might have bpd. and how you think is basily how i think that everyone in this soicty is wrong expect for me and i feel so alone in this world cause no one dont understand hows i feel at all. i wish of killing myself cause i feel so alone but im glad that you said all of this so i don't feel like how the way i was thinking is like crazy cause no one likes my behaivor also i get into fights with my friends alot most of the time i don't concider friends of mine cause we fight so much about differnt logic i don't like normal people logic at all.
i hate how everyone thinks is cool to do drugs i feel like im above it and no one can pre pressuer me to do it. and i hate that everyone go to raves are program to do estacy cause your at a rave. i hate how people don't think about others or long term i don't like bums. i have very high standerds. i keep breaking up with my recent bf for almost 9 months probaly like 10 times cause he does things i don't like and i get annoyed so easily and when im fustrated i get very angry with everyone around me. im sometimes volient. i feel empty and i feel like this isn't the reality im post to be in.

Hey thanks for the reply,

I do understand... The way you feel i feel as if my life cannot go any further single or with out friends or family but i seem to fall out with people because they dont have their loyalties in the right place but i choose to apoligise even tho i dont mean it just because i do not want to be alone... I always feel empty inside all alone,

Im the sort of person that can be happy homeless aslong as i have someone/people around, hate the fact i have never met someone like me that has good standards morrals values ect... To me in my mind most things people do and the way they think is WRONG and is against my way of life

I also really believe i was born in the wrong time zone... The time of the world now where everyone is brainless and has no life ethic at all, everyone seems selfish and after themselfs and always live for today

I even asked my parents if im allowed a pet even a smalled caged non loud, cheap pet but no im not allowed it in the house... And why do i want one? Because im lonely and i dont think i will feel so alone with a pet,

This is how pathetic my life is..

i wish i could start my whole life again somewhere else in another time