BPD-BPD Relationship = Fireworks

I, as a borderline (or close to it), have been in a relationship with another borderline. We met in the psych hospital (ironic, isn't it) after a suicide attempt by him and chronic self-injury to myself. Anyway, this was a few years ago, and I have improved a great deal since then. Looking back, it was just a BAD idea to get in a relationship with him--even stupider knowing that we were both borderline heading into the situation.

We had personality roles: I was the narcissistic one, he was the self-deprecator. However, given our BPD tendencies--which included a penchant for rage and violence on both of our parts--as you can imagine, there were fireworks (and not the pretty kind with nice colors). We had frequent arguments, which would seemingly always be a precursor to all-out physical fights. No matter who threw the first punch, it was coming right back at them. We were abusive to each other and both of us were at fault.

Anyway, in the least--it was volatile, the most--completely self-destructive to both of our lives. However, even worse than the physical confrontations (and this was extremely stupid on my part) was the fact that I put myself on a property lease with him. (He had always been a deadbeat when it came to paying bills, etc.). As our relationship deteriorated after about a year (it was a pretty long time considering what we put ourselves through--we we're both scared of abandonment though) he refused to pay his share of the rent and began blackmailing me for it. Someone had to pay up, and it was always me. He just flat out refused to pay, although to be fair, his financial resources were much drier than mine. I had to hire an attorney and get my name removed from the lease--it was an expensive, lengthy process. My ex and I have not been in contact since then.

So, unless you want to put yourself through hell, under no circumstances do I recommend partnering with another borderline or Cluster B.

Does anyone share a similar experience?

I definitely have similar experiences. I have so far dated at least two diagnosed borderline women. They were both professionally diagnosed. And I have dated a third girl who was not diagnosed but I suspect she at least had borderline tendencies because she was a self harmer. She was actually the worst girlfriend I ever had, but our relationship was more of a fling anyway.

Regarding the two women I dated who were both diagnosed with BPD, the first one was a very decent relationship that lasted for about three years. I think we were both borderline, but it was more of ASPD/BPD relationship. She was more classic BPD and I was basically the antisocial partner. Our relationship was rocky for sure but generally very successful. We loved each other, we got in fights sometimes but we never stayed mad at each other. And we complimented each other very well. After dating her for three years we got to a point in time where we both realized we weren't having sex anymore, and it bothered us because we realized we were both losing interest in each other. We gradually grew apart and mutually broke up on good terms, and we still talk sometimes. We never abandoned each other, we just ended the relationship because we thought it was the right thing to do with no bad feelings on either side. I respect her very much and I'm glad I am still on speaking terms with her.

As for the second confirmed borderline woman, it was like a wild train wreck. We met each other in the hospital, she was there for a suicide attempt and I was there because my doctor and family became convinced I was a danger to myself and others, so they forced me to go. We met and hit it off right after. We spent several months together dating and then became an official couple and within a week she went from thinking of me as a flawless angel to thinking I was the devil incarnate. She had a ridiculous meltdown where she blamed me for bending all her morals and making her a bad person so she dumped me and I never heard from her again. I think it's funny how she kept telling me that her biggest fear was abandonment and claimed she could never do it to anyone and then of course she abandons me for a made up reason. I still think it's kind of funny.

Hi, Im Borderline and i have been involved with a male Narc/Borderline for 9 months. The first 2 months were great. We emeshed and were one. Then we both started to pull away in our own ways. I tried to break it off a few times but kept comming back. Then out of the blue he gave me a 3 month silent treatment. He refused to speak with me. I tried everything I could think of to know that he was alive and ok. Then when I stopped trying he came back. Charming as ever. He told me that I made him feel worthless and he was angry at me. I was cold in the begining because i didnt trust him. But then fell into it again. Now he is pulling away again. I cant take much more of this. The 3 months when he wouldnt talk to me were pretty dark times. It was hard to get out of bed some days. This time around, im ready for it. Im not sure what I did or said this time but we are cycling again. Its not as hard this time. He literaly did abandon me.
For some reason, I dont want this guy out of my life. I really care about him and if we are just friends, im ok with that. I can tthink of him not being a part of my life although this relationship does seem very toxic for us both.

I was in a bpd-bpd relationship, my ex boyfriend was diagnosed as bpd as well, and it's not a good combination. We were the worst kind of borderlines to be in a relationship together. We weren't physically fighting but we were shouting all the time. When we weren't screaming at each other, we were ignoring each other, giving each other the cold shoulder (which prompted a few suicidal attempts by both of us). I would call him all the time, he would call me, I'd get sick of him, and he'd want me desperately when I'd pull away, so he'd pull away, and I'd want him back. We broke up atleast 5 times in 6 months. He was a self-harmer as well. We were both very impulsive too. Drugs, alcohol, unprotected sex, and he struggled with anorexia, me with bulimia. It wasn't good...

I don't reccomend it to anyone, no matter how much you're in love. Unless you're both committed to therapy and getting better, it's a down-ward spiral..