Medications for Borderline

It's very much a case of trial and error I'm afraid with medication. Some people find one drug works, whereas someone else finds it makes them 100x worse. Personally, I have never had a bad reaction to SSRIs like some people claim happens to EVERYONE with BPD. OK, they didn't necessarily help lift my mood, but that was the cirucmstances at the time and the fact I didn't have a proper dx. With 2 years of therapy under my belt, I reckon some of the medications I tried over the last few years would have better effect now.

What I have settled on (after trying 18 different meds in 18 months at one point!) is Mirtazapine 30mg. I used to be on 60mg but we managed to cut it down. If i try to cut it down further then it's not enough to keep me stable. Mirtazapine is not an SSRI so that's maybe why it's helped where some of the SSRIs did nothing. I also tried 3 different MAOIs to no real effect (and it was more of a problem if anything because you have to strictly control your diet with some of them). I also take the contraceptive pill in 3 monthly cycles to control my horrible PMT. And I also take a thyroid supplement because my levels are sometimes low (high? it's underactive anyway - but I think it's an inverse reaction.....it's late, my brain isnae working tonight!) and it helps keep my energy steady so I am able to get about and do things. Unfortunately all 3 meds mean I've put on over a stone in the past year But I'm happy to put up with that - side-effects from other meds (mostly the anti-psychotics) included severe tremors, complete loss of appetite (losing 2 stone) and unexpectedly lactating!

All drugs have side-effects. It's a case of weighing up the costs and benefits of whatever you try. And don't expect a magic pill that makes you feel 100% because that's never going to happen. The way medication works best with BPD is to control some of the symptoms to allow you to use skills learnt in therapy to get through your day-to-day life....and maybe even enjoy some/most of it.

SSRIs were hit or miss with me, like I mentioned in some of my other posts, I haven't been officially diagnosed. Just with depression, and that was a LONG time ago that I saw a psychiatrist. And my symptoms were not really explored other than I was always down, never did therapy, not since I was thirteenish and it was just a "How was your week?" session.

Anyway, the paxil used to even me out, it only makes me not as quick to anger. Everything else has gotten worse probably because I've been on it for the better part of seven years. Used to switch between prozac and paxil, when one stopped working I'd switch to the other. Zoloft and Celexa didn't help at all, Effexor and the other ones that also boost norepinephrine big time either make it so I can't sleep or I feel euphoric and on top of the world and aggressive.

I'm kind of hesitant to try a new med right now because of how much I have going on, I can't miss school or work. But I also can't go on like this. I was having dental problems not that long ago and put on lortab. I took half of one (acetaminophen 500mg and 5 mg hydrocodone in one full one) every four hours and I felt amazing. My mind wasn't racing between severe anxiety to emptiness to suicidal to fine to even happy. I was steady.

One time I was diagnosed as bipolar and put on oxcarbamazipine. It made me feel feelingless and like a robot. It worked because I was too tired to give a damn! That and needing my birth control to do it's job will keep me from the antiseizure meds, but I worry about the weight side effects of the atypicals. I weigh 223 lbs right now at 5 foot 5 and already have high blood pressure, I'm really needing to lose the weight. Also, I am (excuse my language!) a broke ass student, and most of those aren't in generic forms yet.

So how much do atypicals really cost and do they cause severe weight gain like I've read or is it like some of the SSRIs were it is minimal?