hospital sucks

im in hospital and im sick of it i could be here weeks already been here 2 weeks
all i need is accommodation and all would be good

I sympathize with you. The very idea of being in a psychiatric hospital does my head in; I wont go into why as I imagine that wouldn't lift your spirits. I've always had trouble understanding how people end up in them, and why they can't con their way out in short order. I've been following your blog also and it's clear why you cannot. I nearly landed in one only once after a half-hearted attempt on my life in my early 20's which I thankfully (thank you, me) chickened out off. I had a nice tube shoved down my throat at the ER and delicious, yummy yummy charcoal pumped into my stomach, so I least I got that out of it. I also had a half-way decent looking nurse fiddle with my wiener. Okay, so it was only to put in a catheter...

I remember trying to pull it out every now and again for some damn reason; at least it kept me entertained though, it was reminiscent of playing with a slinky or silly putty or something. Regardless of the catheter, I was insistent on going to the toilet so my IV needle went a bit... funny... and a nurse wasn't very happy about it. Come to think, perhaps I should have walked out of the ER. I surely would've been admitted then but it just might have been worth it just for the memory. I'm picturing myself walking in the middle of downtown in a gown with an IV machine in tow.

So the next morning, off to the psych hosp.

While I was being held in the petting-zoo area where people are evaluated to see if they're to be admitted I had a day, night and half the next day to construct a brilliant little con which the head-psychiatrist/psychologist fell for. I have to say, the knowledge that I can run rings around a trained mental health professional gets my rocks off a bit. And looking on the bright side of things, at least I got free food pellets to eat which were tossed at me by gleeful little children. They're surprisingly filling, too. A little kid even took me for a ride as well and I got to tip him through a pane of glass without even getting into trouble.

Anyway...

What I have even more trouble understanding is why some people choose to be in them voluntarily and why the lack of power and control doesn't bother them. So, I've never been in one and can say with utmost confidence that I never will be. I avoid doing and saying things that may land me in one -- pretty basic, although I realize that for many it isn't that simple it's still a good rule to go by.

I'll still be following your blog and I seriously hope you're out of there and okay soon. I am glad that you at least have your laptop as well--not being in contact with the rest of the world when you want to be seriously sucks. On that note, feel free to PM me. PM me as much as want if you wish. This isn't BS or your typical run-of-the-mill "PM me!" offer. I'm serious. In fact, spam my inbox if you like. I'll respond...

Good luck

Apocallcaps wrote:I sympathize with you. The very idea of being in a psychiatric hospital does my head in; I wont go into why as I imagine that wouldn't lift your spirits. I've always had trouble understanding how people end up in them, and why they can't con their way out in short order. I've been following your blog also and it's clear why you cannot. I nearly landed in one only once after a half-hearted attempt on my life in my early 20's which I thankfully (thank you, me) chickened out off. I had a nice tube shoved down my throat at the ER and delicious, yummy yummy charcoal pumped into my stomach, so I least I got that out of it. I also had a half-way decent looking nurse fiddle with my wiener. Okay, so it was only to put in a catheter...

I remember trying to pull it out every now and again for some damn reason; at least it kept me entertained though, it was reminiscent of playing with a slinky or silly putty or something. Regardless of the catheter, I was insistent on going to the toilet so my IV needle went a bit... funny... and a nurse wasn't very happy about it. Come to think, perhaps I should have walked out of the ER. I surely would've been admitted then but it just might have been worth it just for the memory. I'm picturing myself walking in the middle of downtown in a gown with an IV machine in tow.

So the next morning, off to the psych hosp.

While I was being held in the petting-zoo area where people are evaluated to see if they're to be admitted I had a day, night and half the next day to construct a brilliant little con which the head-psychiatrist/psychologist fell for. I have to say, the knowledge that I can run rings around a trained mental health professional gets my rocks off a bit. And looking on the bright side of things, at least I got free food pellets to eat which were tossed at me by gleeful little children. They're surprisingly filling, too. A little kid even took me for a ride as well and I got to tip him through a pane of glass without even getting into trouble.

Anyway...

What I have even more trouble understanding is why some people choose to be in them voluntarily and why the lack of power and control doesn't bother them. So, I've never been in one and can say with utmost confidence that I never will be. I avoid doing and saying things that may land me in one -- pretty basic, although I realize that for many it isn't that simple it's still a good rule to go by.

I'll still be following your blog and I seriously hope you're out of there and okay soon. I am glad that you at least have your laptop as well--not being in contact with the rest of the world when you want to be seriously sucks. On that note, feel free to PM me. PM me as much as want if you wish. This isn't BS or your typical run-of-the-mill "PM me!" offer. I'm serious. In fact, spam my inbox if you like. I'll respond...

Good luck

i choose to be in a psych ward i see it as better then the street and i can come and go as much as i want so im not the "typical patient"

when i use to get put in hospital i wasent good at getting out of going there in the first place but once there i was good at getting out of them the only problem is i ended up back the same day or the next day then it was harder to get out again

i would love to see someone running down the street in a gown and iv that would be youtube stuff defiantly

i have overdosed many times but never had charcoal before by the time i got to the hospital it had been to long a time to give me charcoal

some people want help so they come into hospital voluntary others have to go in eather way so they chose to be voluntary because you have more rights and say in treatment if you are voluntary but if you are involuntary they can give you want they want and do what they want and you have very little rights

they want me to go into what they call a community care unit that is staffed 24/7 with psych staff so its like a psych ward in the community and you live in unit instead of a ward - will take a fue weeks or so to get a bed - i was told by my doctor i will be here until i get stable accommodation - but i can leave at any time but if i do that i will be homeless and on the street so i would rether stay in hospital - i cant deal with the 'unknown' so i would be freaking about were i will eat or sleep all the time - here i know i have food and a bed

Right, it makes sense to me now. I'm glad you're getting something positive out of it and that you have freedom. I'm sure it sucks overall but you seem to be getting a pretty good deal out of it--as well you should be, psych hospitals should be no different than medical hospitals. That's how it should be, and that should be people's attitude and the general consensus.

And yes, I can see how it would be preferable to being homeless and hungry and I'm glad that you're not. Maybe it was as it was a state hospital that I almost got admitted to (they're for those in the states who don't have money, therefore said people are worthless), and maybe hospitals are slightly kinder in general here in Australia as opposed to the US. I saw a very dark side of humanity with my experience and I was only being held against my Will outside the hospital; but held nonetheless.

The thing is, anyone who knew the degree to which is scarred me and blackened my soul a bit would say I should get help for the damage it caused. But I don't want to heal insofar as that. I never want to be able to pretend it doesn't exist. What kind of coward would I be to want to forget? I'm not not just speaking of me--I can't forget those other people and what happened to them.

I never want to forget what people, and humanity is capable of being. Besides, it has sparked much philosophical wrangling in my mind and I do love to philosophize and try to make sense of people and this world.

There's a native American expression which sprung to mind shortly after I walked out, and away from the place and has stuck in my mind since--it's tattooed on my brain: "When the spirit is injured, the wound must be honored" Further, to forget would be to dishonor myself. I don't deliberately make myself remember; it's just that I can never forget no matter how hard I tried.

in the state of victoria (were i live) they closed down all the big psych hospitals and replaced them for short-term psych units (like a medical ward) in most major hospitals is a psych unit up to 50 beds. the reason they replaced the big institutions is they now treat the mentally ill in the community and not lock them away forever and if they do hospitals you it is for as short of time as they can. it is now "get you stable and kick you back out in the community" without really treating you that is why its a yo-yo of in and out of hospital here

dont get me wrong it is good that they got rid of the institutions but they need long-term treatment for some people

the mentally ill just stay stuck in the system that fails them/us

Understood.

It's a sad thought for me that some people out there need to be in hospitals for extended periods, and that getting people stable and moving them back out into the community doesn't work for everyone--it should work that way.

Edit: I suppose the trick is to give said people the long-term hospital stays they need while assuring they aren't abused. That also means that in some way they're able to feel some sense of freedom, have some control over their own lives and not only enjoy life regardless of being in long-term hospitalization but have some choice in how they enjoy their lives. These people shouldn't have to feel their lives are on hold in there--they should have some semblance of life in there.

I wish the pain would end,.. for everyone, with everything. But wishing wont get us there...

as my friend said to me the other day "the world is a cruel place and why do people have to suffer so much?"

Actually, you just reminded me of this; this runs through my head every once and awhile:

http://youtu.be/_Z5OookwOoY

I am in NSW, and I go into a private psych unit for one week every month. Voluntarily. It helps keep my BPD reasonably in line, as I know i always have help if i need it. Same hospital also runs a DBT course, which I attend weekly..
Unfortunately the public psychiatric health system really sucks and needs a major overhaul here. The nurses are crap, the doctors are crap. You are kept in the state of a zombie, and NEVER get asked if you are okay by staff, unless its the doctor seeing you, and even then, they are generally from some weird country and you cant understand them let alone take them seriously.

coastalgirl wrote:I am in NSW, and I go into a private psych unit for one week every month. Voluntarily. It helps keep my BPD reasonably in line, as I know i always have help if i need it. Same hospital also runs a DBT course, which I attend weekly..
Unfortunately the public psychiatric health system really sucks and needs a major overhaul here. The nurses are crap, the doctors are crap. You are kept in the state of a zombie, and NEVER get asked if you are okay by staff, unless its the doctor seeing you, and even then, they are generally from some weird country and you cant understand them let alone take them seriously.

As far as the doctors, it's called outsourcing. They get paid far more in a 1st world country than they would in their native 3rd but still the state doesn't need to pay them nearly as much as they'd have to pay an Australian born, or 1st world born doctor. They --the doctors and state-- are mutually taking advantage of each other in a very cynical manner. It's disgusting but it's everywhere in the world.

Then, they're also obviously giving limited training to the nurses in order to cut costs further. Due to the lack of adequate training for staff it was probably decided to drug up patients as a solution to make it easier for the unqualified staff. If patients get difficult and there's an underpaid, unqualified staff then you're a step away from doctors deliberately teasing patients until they flip out just for entertainment,.. you have patients getting beat for leaving bathrooms dirty.

The state is looking for areas to cut costs and always states and governments will go for cutting costs on things which they feel people will make the least noise about or care the least about. I mean, they're only a bunch of nutters and screwballs, right? Who is going to care about them. Or, how many are even going to notice? Since they're in a public hospital they're figuring that they probably don't generate a lot of wealth gain let alone renewal, so what better place to cut costs. What good are they to the financial gain of the state?

It seems NSW is a bit strapped for cash? That can't be right though,.. as Sydney is the financial capital of Australia...

I bet you've got some awesome football stadiums plated in gold though, right?

Something's amiss.