Angry at male sexuality

What does male sexuality mean to you?

On a strictly logical level, male sexuality in away to make babies. (Do you dislike babies?)

But on a cultural level, yeah, ick. Disrespect!

I had major man-hating issues and ended up marrying a guy who embodied all of them.

But real men are not all like that. My fiance is not. I wear crazy low-cut tops for his enjoyment and he doesn't even look. Sure he finds me sexy, but it's all about respect. He will not treat me like and object even when I act and dress like one. I could go on but I want to jump to a point: (Please edit if inappropriate for this forum). I have never "gotten off" with a man before my fiance. I faked it probably thousands of times. But with a man that doesn't buy into those cultural/society main issues, who is deeply respectful and supportive, well, sex is enjoyable now. I now have a deep respect and appreciation for male sexuality, although I HATE the American culture and the guys not smart enough to see past it.

I feel the same way as you do about male sexuality, I started a fight last night with my boyfriend about it.
I’m not sure if you’re on the same page as me, but something about male sexuality makes me feel so inadequate and inferior to other women, women on tv, in magazines, on the street, etc.
I judge these women in comparison to myself and feel like S*** because of it.
I feel as though my boyfriend is always looking for the next best thing (or at least in my mind I do, which I don’t trust in the least) and that I could never be enough for him.
He was mentioning in a negative tone that he’d seen some gay women, and I got so offended, because I know for a fact that he watches lesbian porn.
I was outright mad at him for only thinking that lesbianism is okay when it’s hot girls getting it on, instead of real women in love.
Just writing about it is getting me mad.
When I get angry I think men, or men in this society at least, are BRAINWASHED by porn, so much so that they cannot have real life relationships that are actually satisfying.
I know not everyone will agree, but it just bothers me soooo much that I am paranoid that a man cannot stick to one person, that they’ve got to ‘spread their seed.’ (yes, I have been cheated on before). I feel as though my boyfriend would rather ‘please himself’ with porn, than actually be with me. That he fantasizes about other women when he’s with me to get off….and that makes me soo not into it, that I have to just pretend that I am enjoying it.

He’s a great person, but on this subject, I feel just disgusted and judged. When he wants me to go to the gym, I feel resentful, because even though I’m decent, I’m not a porn star looking girl..and don’t want to be one!
He doesn’t get why I feel so disrespected.

As a bi woman, I've thought a lot about this stuff. I've mostly been dating women the past few years after being more 50/50 for a long time. But lately, I started dating a guy again for the first time in six years (NOT including or talking about the trans Ex I write a lot about here). Things didn't last long with the new guy in large part b/c of the sex. While I enjoyed intercourse w/him, I made it clear that if he dates me he has to ALSO make love to me like women do -- i.e., fingers, tongue, things that are more ME focused and less phallocentric. He got weirdly threatened when I showed him what I liked with his fingers, saying his penis couldn't compete. WTF?? He got competitive with his own friggin FINGERS. That's the sh!t that pisses me off about a lot of men. They're so penis-focused, they don't even WANT to think about what gives us pleasure even though they're TOTALLY capable of taking us there.

(Note: I'm saying "a lot of," not ALL... I know there are exceptions)

He also refuses to make love to women who are menstruating. NO WAY am I gonna give up sex one week out of every month, thankyouverymuch.

So I'm grateful I'm bi because at least I have the option to date women.

My two cents.

(and yes, I'm still open to dating men who are open to making love like lesbians and being less phallocentric... "a lot of," not "all" is all I'm sayin')

lmao nt's (neurotypicals) are so boring
a good man sould know how to use his fingers and tongue (in case the rest fails lol)
+as part of forplay ofc
+doing the same all the time is boring

Sex may be the only thing that can be both bad and good.

Sex is bad when people are used for sex. Or allow themselves to be used for sex.
I love having sex with a man I love. There is just about nothing I wont do to please him.
But there are conditions on this.
1) I have to know he loves me and is not just wanting sex.
2) he has to give as good as he gets! lol

At the same time

I feel both sorry for and angry at both men and women who allow themselves to be used sexually.

A man who sleeps around is vulgar to me. Because he is every bit a whore to me as a woman who would sleep around.
He is cheap and used to me. Not caring enough about himself to give himself only to people who he cares about. Ewww! lol
Women who sleep around are similar....not caring enough about themselves to give themselves only to people who love them.

Men give themselves away to anyone
Woman accept anyone

One is giving the other taking....but for the same reasons....they feel like they arent good enough for real love, so they settle for Objectivity. Masterbate! lol At least then you are not treating yourself like a worthless object.

Give and take is the nature of relationships. Exchanging sex for sex is like a transaction.
Sterile and meaningless.
What is inside is what changes the meaning of sex.

Because if you value yourself as something special. Then you only share it with people who are special and will respect what you value. Like if I own a house. I dont share it with just anyone. Its mine. Its special. It cost me a lot and its got great value to me. I protect it, guard it. I share it with people who wont rob or steal from me. I share my home with people I trust and love. Not people who treat it like some garbage dump.

Same thing with your body. It is more then just a body if INSIDE you have self worth. Then it becomes more like your home. You protect it, value it and only share with people who are trusted and valued.

When a man says. I like boobs. It doesnt bother me. Wouldnt even bother me if he said he liked my boobs. At the end of the day.....he can talk all he wants about boobs and sex. He wont get anywhere with me if he has nothing INSIDE but worthlessness. How would I know what he has inside? All I have to do is watch, pay attention to him, and learn. And the longer I do that.....I more I know. If he has any self respect he will wait too. He wont wait for me. Fact is he should be doing his own watching and paying attention. I may not be good enough for him! If a man has no standards but physical ones....then he will jump in bed with anyone. Hes a whore. lol And his lack of self worth shows. Trouble is.....men are not called out as much for this as women are in society. Which is what I like about this conversation. The girl is calling out guys who basically feel like $#%^ about themselves but pretend to be macho men! I think these guys are the funny ones. They are easily manipulated into sex by anyone who looks good, bats their eyes, and says you are a hero. How gullible and pathetic. How easily manipulated. How completely lacking in self respect or thoughts of themselves. I

-- Sat Jul 07, 2012 2:56 pm --

oh and I dont much think the gay part has anything to do with this. I mean ultimately its not really a factor. Anyone who gives without considering their own value. Is doin the same thing. Least thats the way I see it.

I'm schizoid/schiotypal, but I'm going to post here too, because I find guys disgusting. I'm asexual, though and don't have a problem with women talking about sexuality- straight or otherwise. There's something about men talking about it that seems so disrespectful. Anytime I dated a man, I dated ones that I considered intellects, and I would still worry about what they were saying to their friends about me... idk, they gross me out when they're not asexual

Some are bein disrespectful. They are also projecting. That means.....they feel the same disrespect for themselves. When you see it for what it is.....it really only makes you feel sorry for them in a way. How pathetic. ya know?

Its like what they are really saying is.....I dont have the emotional maturity to devlope a real loving relationship with someone or worse yet, I am not worth having a real relationship with...I have nothing of real value emotionally to offer anyone, not even myself. So I have to settle for just sex.

This thread has devolved into male bashing, and much like female bashing, it has no place on this forum. This thread is being locked.