Panicking about being alone tonight

Don't know whether i'm posting in the correct personality disorder forum but anyway...
i can't bear not being with people, especially on a friday or saturday night as i know everyone else will be out enjoying themselves.
my mums going out herself so now im worried about being alone all evening as i know i will go spiralling downwards.
i asked my close guy friend to come over and keep me company but he cant so now im annoyed at him for putting his family before me. ive just said i cant be alone coz ill end up hurting myself, even though i wont, but to try and force him to come.
i end up asking random acquaintances to meet me.
i cant bear the thought of everyone else having fun. i always want to go out, but cant go out to a pub or club alone and my friends can never come for various reasons (maybe im the common factor and people just hate being with me?!)
so i thought i'll go sit down the riverbank with alcohol and cigarettes (even though i dont usually smoke) but then thats just made me feel worse coz i need another person else i'tl rub my face in how alone i am.
i always take risks when i get like this, like fight or flight, impulse, dont think of the consequences and then regret my actions.
has anyone got any advice they can give me? plus, does this even sound like BPD? Posted my 1st post in this forum yesterday and not sure whether im posting in the correct one but i'll post this anyway.

No this doesn't sound like BPD to me, you just sound extremely unreasonable. If you would, consider the thought that maybe you appear too desperate and clingy for other people to want to be with you. Many people can sense that and it gives them bad vibes. You should never threaten someone for not spending time with you, it will make them not want anything more to do with you. I'm sure you can find someone to hang out or go out with on a weekend night if you plan it with them in advance, that way they won't already have other plans when you ask them during the weekend. Plan it ahead of time, and then people will be able to make time to see you.

People should feel priveliged to be in my presence and worship me.





Only joking, yeah that's fair enough, but it's hard to change a behaviour that i do kind of subconsciously...i have thought before that i probably appear to 'clingy'...i do tend to get attached to guys to easily.
Thats another thing - i tend to go with the flow/impulse/spontaneity....so i forget to make plans in advance and just think ill sort it on the day. I love having stuff arranged though then i know im sorted without worrying about who im gonna make plans with.

yes, inability to be alone is classic BPD as is threatening self-harm so people don't abandon you, and impulsivity. that doesn't mean it's something you can't work on though especially threatening to hurt yourself, that's abusive and manipulative.

the only advice i can give you is to seek therapy or at least look into DBT self help. regardless of whether it's bpd or not this is obviously having a negative impact on your life. bpd can make it very hard to have friendships and it's too much to try and "fix" on your own. being alone hurts me pretty badly too, but i still try and leave my house every day and just continue living my life and doing little things i enjoy and try my best to not think about the fact that i'm alone. working on yourself will draw other people to you too. unfortunately being overly needy and pushy will just push people away for the most part.

EmmaRamone wrote: cant bear the thought of everyone else having fun. i always want to go out, but cant go out to a pub or club alone and my friends can never come for various reasons (maybe im the common factor and people just hate being with me?!)
so i thought i'll go sit down the riverbank with alcohol and cigarettes (even though i dont usually smoke) but then thats just made me feel worse coz i need another person else i'tl rub my face in how alone i am. i always take risks when i get like this, like fight or flight, impulse, dont think of the consequences and then regret my actions.

has anyone got any advice they can give me?

Sometimes, in situations such as this, all one can do is try to stay still and breathe -- wait until the storm passes (and it will) and wait for the clarity that follows.

To paraphrase 'the owls' with a little bit of literary thievery:

"'I don't know what's going on,' said Boaz in his thoughts, 'and I'm probably not smart enough to understand if somebody was to explain it to me. All I know is we're being tested somehow, by somebody or some thing a whole lot smarter than us, and all I can do is be friendly and keep calm and try to have a nice time till it's over.'"

thanks for those 2 replies..i thought the 1st reply (above your 2) was a little rude saying im 'extremely unreasonable' - made me get all analytical and question myself all night...i hate when i realise i need to change a part of me that is too built in to change..i know ive got a problem, and can't help the way i think and feel and therefore i don't believe am being unreasonable, bcuz if people were in my head at the times when i feel like that (when the only other person in my home walks out the door, and i know im going to be alone) then they would understand! which i know all of you on this forum will understand.

Ive never actually hurt myself..only once but i didnt do it hard enough to hurt, but its more the idea of it...and making people think i will do etc. and that isnt very often either..only when im worried about being alone, which IS often but only when its really bad do i threaten anything.

I've explained my situation in (too much) detail on other posts throughout these forums, mainly in this one so not gonna write it out again but regarding the therapy - i went doctors and was diagnosed with OCD (ive had that since childhood) (i believe it has caused all the other mood/personality issues but keep the ocd issues separate to all the other issues on here else it gets too confusing!) and was referred to a mental health centre thingy then they referred me to a psychiatrist as there were too many traits and underlying patterns that should be disgnosed properly.
what is DBT? i know a bit about CBT becuase that's what i may need for my OCD but dont know anything about DBT.