Now for me because of my borderlineness I end up having alot of boundaries from trying to protect myself 1. And to protect other people from my over reactions I know I will have if I do not protect myself.
1. Questions. I feel extremely invaded when people ask me them. I can't help but feel attacked or threaten. I freak out and become extremely defensive and angry. So I try to ask people little questions as possible hoping that they will do the same behavior. I don't mind some but not a lot. Like so " What do you wanna do with your life? " or " Who are you with? " Like these things feel attacking to me.
2. Keeping my life, my life and the other person's life their life. I like to keep things sperate with people. I find when you try to combined life's with another person it becomes extremely anxiety provoking and sketchy for my taste. For example, I never let my boyfriend meet my friends and I never wanted to meet any of his. I didn't mind if we talked about them but I feel like if they join up that just leaves room for judgement and too much closeness. Same with family. I tried to keep my family and boyfriend apart from each other for a year until he said he'd break up with me if he couldn't meet them. Look how that turned out
3. Sharing my thoughts with people. This is the hardest thing for me to do. Because as you know a borderlines thoughts can be very irrationally and seem completely nuts yet they are the ones we have regardless. Example. I left my charger at my exs house. He called me and said he'd bring it over. I said great. Thinking to myself (Maybe I can have a little time alone with him and get a lil lovin quick) now I don't want to say this to him because I do not want him to think I am clingy or a sex maniac. He calls me two minutes later and says I don't want to do the drive alone so my friend jon is coming with me. My first thought ( ###$ ###$ ###$, I feel abandoned and pissed off because I wanted to be alone with him but I feel like I can't say anything dammit! ) I say you know what never-mind don't come. He flips out and starts saying why are you upset about this??? I try to do something nice for you but it never seems like enough??? I'm doing this because I love you! Now than I feel like I am in a pickle because I can't say my true thoughts without feeling like he'll bring me down but I don't want him and his friend to come because that is way to awkward for me. This cased a huge fight that was awful but ended in me actually being able to say my thoughts which I thought would never happen! I told him the truth why I wanted him to come alone and he said " Aww I would of loved to do that if you told me before I asked my friend to come" Than he said, I love that you told me how you feel and was being so sweet and loving when he came to the door and said lets just be more honest with eachother I think it could really help. Just tell me what is up and we'll talk about it. Now how the hell was I suppose to think he would responded like that??? You can never know with other people!
Now those are the biggest ones for me. There are more but I can't think of them. I know some of this adds up to Compartmentalization. Which is something I do alot, but I was wondering if others do it as well? .
Same here.. my fiance has people at work he's friends with and they invite both of us places but I never want to go. I figure they will judge me and think I'm a rude bitch and I don't want people to not like him at work just because of me.
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