Something Really Annoys Me.

agirlbyanyothername wrote:Other times the habit to DX is merely convenient. It’s much easier to lump tendencies together under one label than waste a paragraph or two explaining someone’s behavior. Sometimes it’s just helpful to have an idea or direction to turn to.

I'd be less critical of them if they said, "My ex has Histrionic tendencies & traits" then "My ex has Histrionic PD & my sister is Borderline PD". The frequent self-diagnosing of others kind of down-plays the seriousness of people who actually DO have the disorder severely & were properly diagnosed by a professional.

Katana - I wasn't really talking about self-diagnosing yourself. I find it more acceptable for people to do that. It's natural when you think something is wrong with you. I'm OCD about diagnostics, so I understand. (By the way I was diagnosed OCD because of it. Ironic, huh?)

(I'm hoping against hope that Nons don't come in & make this a flame war.)

Maybe what you've seen on this post is people with suspicions about their friends or family, they are not necessarily trying to diagnose their loved ones but if they know about the personality disorders they are complaining about, they are just worried and can see characteristics of them in people they know. I know my grandparents both suffered from depression, my dad suffered from depression, and my mom is a narcissist. Those are the things I know for certain about my family, and it has all been backed up by professional doctors. A few of my friends have characteristics of mental disorders, but few of them I would say have a personality disorder at all, although I have dated two girls who were both diagnosed with BPD professionally while they were hospitalized.

As for me, it's not really self-diagnosis but I rightly suspected what's been wrong with me for almost my whole life. In 2005 I was diagnosed as bipolar and I never agreed with it. It turned out to be completely wrong and I always knew it was an incorrect diagnosis. I wasn't diagnosed with BPD until this year in February by a new psychiatrist and she got the whole picture right away after going through all my files and test results and interviewing me personally. So it was a self diagnosis at first, but now it has been confirmed and backed up a professional.

Yeah I agree with agrilby It kind of gets annoying to read all those 'my ex hurt me' posts. I think some of them are probably legitimate,though...but why wait until the relationship is over to get help wtih it?

I think suspicions are fine..it's just questionable when someone brings things up about their ex.

It does get annoying to read all the angry posts from being who diagnosed their ex's just because they broke up with them and it didn't work out. But maybe if they are here at all it could mean there was serious reason for concern.

I thought today, it also helps one to forgive if, even by labeling, we can blame the condition instead of the person. There's still a big risk of hypocritical condescension there, though.

(Glad you liked the sig line, Twisted Mister. I always like your take on things, btw. Very Zen-like and brutally honest.)

i notice a lot of people want to diagnose ex-partners. i really think they should bar "nons" from being able to come into this space and do that. it's irritating, and often insulting to those of us who are actually suffering. totally non productive. i do not want to hear about how people with BPD are evil and horrible.

i do think it's natural when we read too much about psychology and psychiatric disorders, to start seeing these traits in others. what most people fail to realize is that personality disorders and mental illnesses in general are composed of traits that a lot of people have and can relate to, but they are way more severe when it's pathological. like: nobody likes to be rejected, HOWEVER, borderlines have a severe reaction to rejection that can take over their mind entirely and cause them to react in ways out of their control. and so on.

That's right, everybody has traits of personality disorders to some degree, it's not normal if you don't. But if it is a disorder than it disrupts your life and causes dysfunction, that's what the word disorder means. It's only a disorder if the symptoms cause dysfunction in your life, so the nons here just want to blame their relationship failures on mental illness. It's not fair to those of you who really have worse trouble than just having a bad girlfriend or boyfriend.