contradictions

ever feel like you're two conflicting people?

want or need two opposing things and behave and think in two opposing ways?

can answer both "yes" and "no" to questions concerning your personality?

Yeah pretty much. This applies to my general personality. One side will be caring and wanting to love the world. The other side just wants to cause destruction and chaos and watch the world burn. The latter is of course my true nature, I can switch back and forth with varying effect but my darker side will always be there. It is quite dependent on what I'm feeling at the time.

Then in terms of sexuality, it is all over the place, really depends how I'm feeling at the moment and what kind of 'experience' I want at the time. This can also be switched back and forth with varying effect but sometimes one type will become overpowering and dominate the rest.

Before, I used to think which one is the real me, which personality type etc. but I came to the realisation that they are all me. It is just a matter of accepting you for you.

Yep! Right now if I think about people in my life.. (not the ones I'm very close with) I can think how I feel so much compassion for them and at the same time I think they're awful and deserve whatever misfortune they receive. It's irritating to me because most of the time I'm really not sure what I feel.

I think I disagree on this one.....I'm very aware now (after 2 years of therapy I'd better be!) of who I am and how I function. If I didn't have that knowledge of behavioural modes, then I might feel like I contradict myself, but I know it's just different modes that I flip in and out of when faced with different triggers or situations. And that's not just a BPD thing, everyone does it but ours are more exaggerated because our emotional responses are exaggerated.

I guess I might appear to other people as a bit of a contradiction because I come across as normal.....until hitting a trigger and then I collapse....but I know why I do it and explain to people what's happening as it's happening, which helps level off the emotional spike much quicker than before.

imaduck wrote:ever feel like you're two conflicting people?

I'm a lot more than two people...

I lead a lot of different lives.
I have different names for them, even, to avoid overlaps.

I'm much more complicated than most people would think.