Newly diagnosed

Hi, I thought I'd post here as I've been reading this forum for a week or two. I'm 35 and I was recently diagnosed with BPD after many years of on-and-off therapy and treatment for depression and substance abuse. I'm in a whirlwind of emotions and unsure of what to do next.

I have been talking to an old therapist that I used to see regularly, but it has been frustrating as he doesn't specialize in BPD and just ignores a lot of my symptoms. I have issues with therapy in general...a lot of built-up anger about not being diagnosed until now. Looking back, I can guess that at least some of my therapists knew I had BPD but didn't tell me, either to keep it off the insurance records or because they were wary of my reaction. Unfortunately, I don't think that has worked out in my favor.

Anyway, I've been looking into DBT, but of course that's something that needs a year or more commitment, and I'm not even sure if I'll be living in the same area a month from now. I'm unemployed, running out of money, and don't have a lot of people who will still talk to me (what a surprise, ha ha). I do have some very supportive family members who have been patient with me all these years...without them, I'd probably be in much worse shape.

There's a lot more I could say, but I'll just put this out there. I'm glad that this forum is here.

Welcome! I hope you find it helpful here, I know I have so far. (:

Its a good thing you have a supportive family, hang on to them. Thats something few people have.

-Sing

Thanks, sing. My family has kept me alive.

I know from experience that if your family are supporting you, they love you dearly.

BPD is something that few people understand and can be just as painful to the family (even more so, sometimes) as it is to the sufferer.

I'm also so pleased that you have the support of your family and I wish you luck in your recovery.

There are many on this forum who know exactly what you're going through... talk to them, ask for support when you need it, and offer support to others, when they need it.

my best wishes to you... x x

Thanks, miss_understood.

There is a lot of dysfunction in my family so we have a pretty high tolerance for difficult behavior and personalities. I am definitely lucky in this regard.

I would indeed like to help and be helped.

Hi betterlatethannever,
Welcome to the forum. I'm glad you have supportive family members to help you through things, That's a real plus. I hope you can take some solace in the fact you have a recognized disorder with a growing database and a recent surge in research. It's sometimes hard to find a competent or qualified professional. That's a problem I am currently troubled with. I was diagnosed over 18yrs ago. I recently had a meltdown and started lookin for help. Since I haven't seen anyone in almost 18yrs, I am having trouble finding someone who treats the BPD not just the depression. The last therapist I visited (supplied by my employer's "Employee Assistance Program") told me BPD is just a name given to pigeon-hole patients and said I'm just attention seeking (though there is some truth to that, I mean I am seeking attention from a competent therapist, just not her!!). She then bad mouthed the med I was on, Effexor (I'm now unmedicated again, my choice). Needless to say I'm still looking for help. You see, I'm also a Type 1 Diabetic (diagnosed at age 10). So I've had experience with doctors who know diabetes and those that don't. The one's who know diabetes are far more helpful and the ones who don't. Those who don't have done things that have caused serious danger to me. I'm thinking the same is going to be true with BPD. Therefore I want someone who knows BPD and unfortunately their waiting lists are 8-10 months long. Hope you have better luck.

betterlatethannever wrote:I'm unemployed, running out of money, and don't have a lot of people who will still talk to me (what a surprise, ha ha).

Been there too. Does complicate things, but don't give up. There are a lot of really good members on this forum who are going to be very helpful to you. They are an amazing resource and I am awed with respect for them. Mostly by their willingness to help. Sometimes that's all the difference you need to get through the tough stuff. Good luck on your journey.

Welcome. I look forward to reading more of your posts.

Iwoya wrote:I am having trouble finding someone who treats the BPD not just the depression. The last therapist I visited (supplied by my employer's "Employee Assistance Program") told me BPD is just a name given to pigeon-hole patients and said I'm just attention seeking

This is so common. A lot of therapists are frankly scared of BPD and people who have it and don't want to deal with the reality of it. They know that it will be a hard struggle and they would rather just load the patient up with meds and have them talk about their mother for 50 minutes. (Yes, I am cynical...so sue me.) Admittedly, the "pigeon-hole" or "trash-bag" labels have been around for a long time and some therapists buy into them, but I think they just don't want to make the effort.

I don't have diabetes, but I agree that therapists/docs who pay attention to physical issues tend to better. Again, it's an issue of dealing with reality...some people are more in tune with it than others.

If I were you (and I'm not), I wouldn't wait 8-10 months. Get someone now with an open mind and teach them how to treat you. (I should probably follow my own advice here.)


Thanks for writing.

Thanks, licht.

betterlatethannever wrote:Get someone now with an open mind and teach them how to treat you.

I love this idea!! Made me smile, but I know how manipulative I can be and I'm afraid of where I would take this lesson. I don't trust myself, atleast not quite yet, still struggling with things. But again, love the way you think!!