Splitting/ the black side?

How does it work for you? How quickly? What triggers it?

I am in a coffee shop now. There was this woman sitting next to me on a laptop. She asked me "hey, you have a mac- can you look at this?" I felt slightly flattered that I was being asked my opinion, and thought that she had a very unique style. Then she showed me some weird thing that wasn't working on her computer, and, big surprise, I had no idea how to fix it. After a couple minutes, she kept muttering loudly to herself and everyone around her (she's still doing it...), swearing and just basically being extremely inconsiderate (if my computer doesn't work, I will take it to the store or get it fixed- I'm always very careful not to irritate others who obviously don't give a $#%^ about my troubles.) Anyway, once she started asking some other man about her computer, and even after he obviously had no clue, she continued to complain incessantly about her computer, her job, her boss... as though he cared. At that point, I started really hating her. I felt tense, her voice made me very angry, all I wanted was for her to leave. And she didn't. Maybe I should feel bad for her that her computer doesn't work while mine does- but all I want is to never see her or hear her voice again. There is no way I will ever like her, or feel anything but annoyance from seeing her.

However, the girl is a nuisance- I'm not sure how much of this is 'borderline' and how much is completely normal- who doesn't feel extremely exasperated by an irritating person?

id say pretty normal hehe, none likes everyone and people get on every ones wick at times. my freind that i see, he is so strait, verry ballanced, but there is a man that works in his office and the man talks to himself about what hes doing, it drives my freind nuts and makes him want to burn his car or somthing.

so normal.

People like this drive me nuts, too, but I try to feel sorry for them. Clearly this woman has issues of her own, and is either completely oblivious (unlike us on this forum, who are actually lucky enough to see our problem) or can't control herself.

villain.chik wrote:all I want is to never see her or hear her voice again. There is no way I will ever like her, or feel anything but annoyance from seeing her.

This is the part I identify with. Happens to me, well I'd say, a lot. Often times I'm really not sure why this person annoys me so much. But once I've decided I dislike/hate someone, it's really hard to change my mind (though rare, it has happened). I just won't/can't let it go, even when I no longer feel annoyed. A mark's been made. I have faulted others for continuing to like this person after I've presented my case for hating him/her. I even find myself hating people who remind me of someone I've decided I hate. Trigger activity. There's something behind this, setting it off. I just don't know what it is. Not sure if it's BPD or just ME!!

I would say it's normal to get irritated with someone like that. It's the level of irritance that would show a difference between a BPD and a Non. A non would probably not think about her after they've left the coffee shop - maybe to tell it as a funny anecdote to work colleagues or their partner that evening....but that would be the end of it.
Splitting would be when you cross over the road if you saw her again....you would remember it in vivid detail and it would get your hackles up just thinking about it many hours/days after the event. You might even avoid going into that coffee shop again just incase she's there (although that might be more AvPD than BPD - I have both so it's hard to call!)

Edited to add: just to point out that our emotional responses are valid and generally correct. If we feel irritated or upset, then it's safe to say that most people would feel a little the same. The only difference is that whereas they would score maybe a 2 on a scale of 0 to 10 and it might last 5 minutes, we would score an 8 and it would last 5 hours.
So don't always assume you're having the "wrong" reaction - emotions are natures ways of telling us when something has happened (good or bad)....we just lack the control knob to regulate them appropriately.

I agree with isoko49...I often have difficulty distinguishing the BPDs from the Nons on here when they're posting about the behavior of others.