JOBS JOBS JOBS - and BPD

JOBS JOBS JOBS, I need a job, I was self-employed for a while, last 2 jobs I had I quit within a month and a week.

I can't seem to land any proper analyst jobs or even simple desk jobs, I've got a good degree and work experience (5 different jobs), only downside is that I haven't worked a "job" in about 2 years. I get the interviews but for some reason I usually end up self-sabotaging it, saying the dumbest s***. Also I don't really carry myself that well, probably cos I don't really want the job that much.

So what's the best job for someone with BPD? I've seen some other topics and some say sales but you end up getting burnt out easily. I can't seem to get any jobs in the industry I want, now I'm thinking about whether I even want to do these kind of roles. The last job I had was pure sales, on the phone 10 hours a day. Quit that in a week. Previous one before that was mainly a desk based role, drove me terminally insane, quit after a month. Just woke up one day and I was like f*** it. I didn't even call in to say I quit, I just didn't show up. They ended up calling my next of kin and they seriously thought I got hit by a bus

I'm thinking either a job that is 80% desk based, 20% client based OR 80% client based and 20% desk based. Quite opposite but I seriously dunno wtf anymore. I know that our identity is not BPD, but I need something that matches my personality/skill level otherwise I will probably quit. My new latest obsession is to be a recruitment consultant.

My character traits: abrupt, arrogant, a bit of a prick, good interpersonal skills when required, can build rapport easily when in the right frame of mind, impulsive as f***, manipulative, enjoy the thrill of the kill, raging most of the time, pretty smart, good looking, tall, apathetic.

Oh yeh my dx was borderline + histrionic.

I'm thinking sales.

Anyone who's been in a similar situation would be good.

This is a toughie because if we find ourselves in the wrong job, we just can't stick it and it makes our mental health worse (or it does with me anyway). I know, for instance, that I can't do a "menial" job.....which makes me sound so snobby but I have a great intellect and I need to use it. For any of us, we need a job where we feel validated....that's one of the core issues with BPD. We need to feel that we excel at the job, that it challenges us just enough but not too much, that we know exactly what is expected of us, where we won't suddenly get asked to do something we're not prepared to do, and we can generally feel capable.

That's what I'm looking for anyway. When I've had bad jobs previously, I hated them because I wasn't listened to, I was asked to do things that I wasn't comfortable doing, I was taken advantage of etc. But when I had a job where I knew exactly what was expected of me, where I could just come in, do the job without having to interact with too many people, not get things thrown at me unexpectedly, have a little bit of pressure but not too much, I felt confident of my ability to do the work......I thrived.

so take a look at the jobs you have enjoyed - and it might have been the same job but at two different companies - and work out WHY it suited you. And look at the ones you didn't enjoy and work out WHY you hated them. then you can start to put together a basic job description. For me it would include not having to talk on the phone, being able to work without supervision, having set guidelines and so on. You might like phoning people or talking to people, or you might prefer to punch numbers into a database all day.....there isn't going to be one job that suits everyone with BPD because we're still all very individual.
Good luck

Thanks isoko49, probably the most useful advice I've received from anyone. Most of my family/friends just say to take any job, but that just leaves me in limbo as I seriously don't know what to do.

I will do what you suggested and go over my past work history. Thanks again!

Glad I could help. Even people with other mental health conditions just tell me to get a little job cleaning or working on the checkout or something like that......but it just doesn't work that way with me and my BPD! I need to feel like I'm doing something worthwhile and meaningful, and cleaning somebody elses toilets just isn't going to do that for me! hats off to the people who can do it.....but no thanks.

I got myself in a right tizz a couple of weeks ago thinking I "had" to get back to work because I was doing better (writing class, musical groups) but it made me feel soooo bad just thinking about some of the jobs I was being told to apply for that I ended up self-harming....there was other stuff going on too but it just goes to show how important it is to pick the right job. my stepmum was trying to help but didn't know the right way to go about it.....now she knows not to bring the job paper when she visits with "appropriate" jobs circled for me! It made me feel like I "had" to apply, even though the thought of it terrified me and I know that even if they did ask me to interview, I would cancel somehow. Now I'm looking at a college course, because i enjoy studying, with the idea of going to university again next year and training to work in mental health services somewhere. I know I can make a difference and I know I'm capable of learning all the medical stuff too. Now i just need to work up the guts to phone the college to ask about which course i can apply for (might be able to get in a year ahead because i already have a good degree). The thought of phoning has me in a cold sweat, but I want to get on with my life and i'll feel worse if I let the application date pass by.

If it feels right, then it probably is right......that's a general rule I follow for BPD. Sometimes it might feel uncomfortable or scary, but if you genuinely feel able to do something and WANT to do it, you'll make it happen.

If you just take any job.. you will probably quit within a week. Is there anything that excites you? Such as.. working at a store where you enjoy shopping so you could get a good discount? It would be nice if the job benefited you in as many ways as possible. You sound somewhat like me.

I've worked 3 jobs. 2 I got fired (sort of).. the other I quit because I couldn't take the anxiety anymore. I can't stand the pressure of talking to people. I also couldn't stand being asked to do things that weren't part of my job. The other employees drove me up a wall and I hated them. I always wished I could be handed a list of things to do and have no one speak to me so I could get all my work done without the rest of the social BS. I'm a really really good worker. I use my time very efficiently and I don't slack. However, once something goes wrong and I get angry I tend to just say ###$ it and give up. Up until then.. I'm the best employee in the world.

When you worked, did you get along with your bosses? I found that I rarely had any problems with the bosses because I understood it was their business and they needed to run it effectively. Now when another employee told me what to do.. that's where I had the problem. It was like ###$ you.. you're on the same level as me so mind your business. I don't know.. maybe it's just me... lol