I'm attached to my psychologist. Help me?

So I'm attached to my psychologist. I've been seeing her for just over a year and a half.
I'm so scared of her leaving me.
If she were to leave me(ie. move away which results in me not being able to see her/her believing I'm stable and healthy enough to not need her etc.) I can only imagine what would happen. To be honest I can see myself standing on the edge of a bridge in the city and then calling her or something terrible and manipulative like that. Please don't judge me for that, I'm just being totally honest.

It's weird but I can't help it: whenever she speaks about me making progress or something like that, I'll freak out and become triggered and go home and cut myself/become really depressed. I pretty much sabotage myself. I can't stop doing it.
Obviously this is not helpful in therapy but I don't know how I can stop all of this. Siiighhh..

Help, please? I don't know what to do about this situation.

EDIT: oh and she doesn't know that I'm attached to her. She doesn't know about any of this. I haven't told her because I'm petrified about pushing her away or making her feel like she needs to distance herself from me.

I really think you need to face your fears and tell her how you feel. Otherwise it WILL just get worse.

smash787 wrote:I really think you need to face your fears and tell her how you feel. Otherwise it WILL just get worse.

Easier said than done.

Why are you attached to your psychologist?

Can you try and fight this feeling? Or are you just going to go with it.


You should either a) tell your doctor..........or b) get another doctor and talk to that doctor about your feelings over this doctor.


Since i'm guessing you don't have the money to employ a second therapist............you're going to have to talk to your doctor about this.

(or you could talk to her about a different doctor? Say you've got another doctor and talk to her about that one )

Twistedmister wrote:Why are you attached to your psychologist?

Can you try and fight this feeling? Or are you just going to go with it.


You should either a) tell your doctor..........or b) get another doctor and talk to that doctor about your feelings over this doctor.


Since i'm guessing you don't have the money to employ a second therapist............you're going to have to talk to your doctor about this.

(or you could talk to her about a different doctor? Say you've got another doctor and talk to her about that one )

Why am I attached to my psychologist? I have no idea. I seem to have a habit of becoming attached to authority figures - select teachers (when I was in school) especially.

[mod edit] I don't have the money to employ a second psychologist but my parents do. I am currently also seeing a psychiatrist but I dislike him so we're currently in the process of finding another. I would have told him but I just feel like I can't trust him with things.
I suppose I'll tell my new psychiatrist when I get one, but they only really deal with the medication side of things so I don't know if it'll help.
Thanks for your answer..

Does the fact that you know you're attached to your psychologist because of your attraction to authority figures, help lessen that attachment?

Not at all, should it?

I'm not sure that it should...........but i am sure, that you should work to make it.

Of course, logically..........looking at the reasons we want things, gives us the power of understanding what the things we want are.

When we have a pain........it's far less scary if we know where it comes from.

If you hit your knee.......and it hurt........you might be in pain, but you'd be able to say "i hit my knee"

But if you were just sitting down and suddenly your knee started hurting severly for no reason, you'd have the added torment of wondering what was going on.


Most of us..........are on this site, because we have emotional problems. We're here, trying to figure out where those emotions come from.....so we can better control them.

Your attachment to your Dr.......... is an emotion. Understanding why you feel that emotion, will help you find the courage to endure it. Seeing it as it is, rather than fearing what it "might" mean.


Currently, i'm obsessed with my friend.

Sometimes i'll get like a torrent of emotion that is almost crippling when i think about her. When i think about how i don't have her.

It helps me greatly..........to realise why i feel this way.

1. i have BPD (abandonment issues)
2. i pick unavailable people to have feelings for, because it's safer
3. my black and white thinking, distorts my view.........if i don't have her, life is all bad (not true, i have lots of awesome things in my life)

4. she's not that pretty
5. she's kind of boring
6. she's crazy and probably has HPD
7. i only want her, because i can't have her.......if i had her, i'd be done with her after a month
8. i was happy before i met her
9. i've been with girls i've longed for before.........this isn't new, and i know this feeling goes away......she's no more or less special than the last girl

10. even if i get her........it will only be temporary. She will die. I will die. Eventually there will come a time when i don't have her again. Getting her, isn't a lasting solution.
11. I like the idea of her, more than her (she likes crappy movies, crappy t.v. shows.....and is superficial)

And i could go on and on.

But when i really think about all the reasons why i want her...........i seem to be able to want her less.
I feel less in a panic about not having her..........about never having her............because my emotions are being tempered by logical reasoning of the situation i find myself in.

If i don't attack the emotion.........i am crippled by it. As it can be overwhelming.........but that doesnt' mean i just have to accept it as such.
I do enjoy it sometimes.......feeling overwhelmed by attraction/need..........but mostly, it just hurts me.

So learning to try and control it........is about the most important thing i've ever done.

I'm going through the EXACT same thing with my therapist. I think about him all the time, I love going to sessions, and I'm TERRIFIED of him getting rid of me. An irrational fear of abandonment that I can't help but fear.

I also have a horrible habit of getting attached to people and then if they do abandon me or reject me.. well, last time I ended up in the psych ward.

I really don't have much advice at the moment because I'm suffering through the same fear and attachment. All I can say, is its probably best to tell your psychologist. I told my therapist and we're currently trying to discuss my fear of abandonment. If your psychologist knows you have BPD, they shouldn't be surprised by this.

homersxchild wrote:I'm going through the EXACT same thing with my therapist. I think about him all the time, I love going to sessions, and I'm TERRIFIED of him getting rid of me. An irrational fear of abandonment that I can't help but fear.

I also have a horrible habit of getting attached to people and then if they do abandon me or reject me.. well, last time I ended up in the psych ward.

I really don't have much advice at the moment because I'm suffering through the same fear and attachment. All I can say, is its probably best to tell your psychologist. I told my therapist and we're currently trying to discuss my fear of abandonment. If your psychologist knows you have BPD, they shouldn't be surprised by this.

Oh wow, I thought I was the only one going through this. I've never read about anyone else having the same problem!
If you don't mind, could I ask what happened last time that lead to you being in a psychiatric ward? Don't feel obliged to tell me though :3
Thanks for your answer, it's nice to know I'm not alone.. I wonder how many other people become attached to their therapists..