Do you have an elaborate fantasy world..?

I wouldn't describe myself as delusional (not in a visual sense, anyway), but I find that when life is too much (which is by the end of almost every day) the only place I have left to go to is my own world. I've also found I'm trying to control my environment as much as I can, because in a controlled environment, there is nothing that could trigger, stir up painful emotions and frustration etc. I like to stay at home when I can, and pretend that college and all bad things in my life are...not entirely gone, but are on an altogether different plane of existence. In other words, I'm want to live in my dreams and wish I was dreaming reality, and I can wake up from it whenever I want. Life's getting too much to bear lately, I'm 18, I'm already balding from stress, and I feel I have failed every possibility in my life, which I didn't have too much to start with, everybody hates me and there can be none who is capable of loving me. I know ever since I've started writing in this forum I've been obsessing about college, but this is the main environment of my life right now, and it's something I've only started recently (and hate already, but enough about that in my other thread). So, the point is, I have a quite intricate dream world, that I think reflects my disorder in an interestingly visual way.This dream world has two races: the Ubers (that's right, from the German ubermensch), a malignant and arrogant society who have come as close to perfection as it gets and have huge sprawling cities on distant planets, where everyone enjoys a high level of perfection and social life; the other is the lonely Tanuki people (has to do with Japanese mythology, albeit VERY heavily tweaked) who live in a very loose confederation on a single home world in a system which has no star, the only source of light being a huge and radiant moon that plays an important part in the life of the Tanuki, being the basis of their calendar and so forth. Every Tanuki lives in their own tower, made of synthetic metal and reaching far above the clouds. The topmost floors are living quarters, fitted with a terminal that provides access to their quantum reactors, the rest of it is a...complex, where the Tanuki breed their synthetic agents to wage war on the Ubers. Sorry for the lenghty and extremely weird post, but I thought I'd share...IMHO it's an interesting manifestation of BPD, and of course if you have anything like that, I'd be very interested to hear it. Love, Takeshi ^^

Yes. I dream about the kind of life that I would have if I wasn't afraid. I also fantasize about a lot of different men often.

yes. I have an elaborate fantasy world. I used to set aside time for daydreaming and in car journeys with family I used to just stare out the window and fantasise. I loved it. They are always romances.
i'm very emotional so i can inhabit the fantasy as if it were real.

When I was a kid I created two alter egos out of curiosity but that's about it for a "fantasy world." I have a strong imagination but usually I use it to sort out violent urges.

I was constantly living in a fantasy while growing up. I was always dreaming of a world where I was better looking, more intelligent, more talented, and just more interesting overall. Sometimes it had nothing to do with reality whatsoever. I've done that for many years up until very recently. I still daydream and fantasize, but it's not as in-depth or constant as before. I'm not sure if that's the medication or what.

definitely. so much so it's embarrassing. i think this tendency is more common than people think. i think even people without a severe mental disorder do it nowadays in this stressful world.

18/college is a very difficult time for someone with bpd. i remember. it did get 100 times better. they say and i agree that bpd calms itself as you get older, particularly as you reach 30. (i'm 36) i know that's a long time away but believe me you will get out of this adjustment period.

in the meantime appreciate the fact that the fantasy world serves a purpose and you need it for now. so compassion for yourself is key. it's something my therapist tells me when i beat myself up for my defenses/tendencies. i have to remind myself of it all the time.

good luck...

Absolutely. I'm almost always in my head, even when I'm functioning in the outside world. It's one of the few things I can control. I used to narrate the stories so much that now I have a constant inner narrator that describes even the slightest thing. It's not so bad as it used to be, but I still sort of detatch from myself because of it. My name is even foreign to me sometimes.

kanin wrote:When I was a kid I created two alter egos out of curiosity but that's about it for a "fantasy world."

I have alter egos now.

brokenopen wrote:

kanin wrote:When I was a kid I created two alter egos out of curiosity but that's about it for a "fantasy world."

I have alter egos now.

Intentionally? Mine were and every once in awhile they come back. Usually when I'm tired.

many, many of them. The strange thing is that they are usually less appealing from an outsiders view.