I don't know how to cope...

I don't know what to do. My ex(my children's father) just left after taking our son out for awhile to spend some time with him before moving to Pennsylvania. He will be gone tonight, and he doesn't know how long he'll be gone. Nothing is clear. Everything is a mess, and I'm going to be giving birth to our daughter any day now. He hasn't talked to me for weeks, after we had seemingly started to get back on track and we were saying we loved each other again. I was convinced he was going to just leave without even really saying goodbye to me, but before he walked out, he gave me a long hug. We hugged... and hugged.. and then he kissed me.

It feels like this was a "goodbye forever" thing. That's how I feel. I am a wreck, even though I shouldn't even care at this point because of how much drama we've had. Everyone we know is quick to judge a relationship between us as impossible and bad... but I hoped... I was hoping.

I don't know how to deal with this... I don't want to go through labor alone... I don't want her to never be held by her daddy... I'm afraid the first person that will hold her is going to be a friend of mine, because he already loves her like she was his. I know it should make me happy that she has someone to love her like that, but I wanted her daddy to be there to hold her... to be the first to look into that precious little face.

It's hard to be excited for the future... I don't know... Part of me just wants to say "screw it" and jump into things with the man that has been here this whole time.... but honestly? I am still too terribly stuck on my ex that I think it'd just be a rebound and that's not cool.

It doesn't sound like your ex is the guy you should be with because obviously you deserve better. I think you def need to have at least 6 month of NO CONTACT (including email, phone, texts) with your ex before you can start to get over him. That was how I got over my ex and it was the best thing I could have done even though it hurts really really really REALLY bad and even more so for you because he is the father of your baby. Giving it time is the only way to get over him, you probably won't be over it for a while but eventally you will for sure. This other guy sounds nice and you should let him help you if he wants to but there is no need for you to jump into a relationship with him it won't really help either of you.

Thank you for responding.

I dunno.. it's just hard for me to get over him. We've been off and on for over 3 years and have these 2 kids together.

The other man is a great guy, yes, but he is almost like a slightly different version of my ex. A version that has less common sense, less charm, and is going to be leaving for boot camp between March and August of next year. Not exactly the best bet for a lasting relationship anyway, I guess. It's just my family loves him and he makes everyone laugh around here, which is actually a feat since we have issues. lol And he's been here the whole time, and is excited for my daughter. He's the one that's been taking me to appointments and helping me out with my son while I'm feeling bleh from pregnancy.


Bah. I don't know... I just wish my ex wouldn't have kissed me goodbye... and maybe said something negative. If he said something now indicating he never wanted to try again, it could push me into just maybe splitting him black. That would be nice...

Sucks you have to go through such a bad time when you are pregnant. I think you are doing better than I would in your situation! I think you are a lot stronger than you realise and even nonbpds would be not coping well at all in your situation. Your ex and your guy friend are not the only two guys in the world you know!

Thanks. =o I swear I'm only getting through this 'cause of my mom, sister, and friend. Without them, I'm fairly sure I'd be wasting away while my child screamed at me and destroyed the house until I'd finally get up and get him what he wanted.. I'm extremely irritable and depressed though, but I suppose that's to be expected,especially since being in my last few weeks of pregnancy. Haha.

I know they're not the only men, but being a mother of two that lives with her parents and doesn't ever get out of the house... you sorta don't meet anyone new.

How are you feeling? Are things a little better today?

wisp wrote:How are you feeling? Are things a little better today?

Yeah. I think it's because I've sorta removed my feelings from the situation though. >.< I would still be a mess if I didn't suddenly ... not feel a whole lot at all about it. I guess the only reason I'm still thinking about him is because I'm not sure if I should give our daughter his last name or not.

*hug* I'm glad you're doing a little better. I'm sorry that stuff is hard for you right now. That is a hard place to be in.

Thanks It's hard, to say the least. All the stuff that has gone on lately. My ex telling me he loved me, then moving out of state; my grandmother falling and breaking her hip, so my mother is now gone all the time and I don't have the support with my son that I expected when moving in here; and now I might have preeclampsia so I have to do a 24 hour urine collection in order for them to analyze how much protein is in it. If there is a significant amount, then my kidneys are definitely not doing well and they will probably induce labor ('though to be honest I'm actually happy this bit of excitement is happening to me...)

Bah!

I swear... I shouldn't get so happy when bad things happen to me, but I do. It's been that way since I was very young. I always hoped for the worst, aside from death.