Phones & Txt Messages

I saw on another thread a lot of people with BPD prefer to txt...

I used to have a phobia of phones (i got over it through sudden exposure - do or die method) lol. but i hate txt and internet messages even more.

if you can see someone, you can pick up non-verbal signals as well as what they are saying, so its harder to misinterpret. with phones you have tone of voice. txt msgs, its just words on a page, open to interpretation.

to tell the truth i have a massive phobia of txt & internet msgs, i hate them, cause you can misinterpret all sorts. but it seems to be the way people prefer to communicate nowadays so i do it anyway. - and i guess i need to get over it properly.

phones/txt/internet - good or bad for BPD?

what do you think ?

Hey,

I believe that if you prefer face-to-face encounters, then that is better than preferring text messages and/or emails. Text messages and emails allow some to hide behind their fears, such as 'shyness' and social anxiety. I find it great, actually, that you imply you prefer face-to-face encounters. BPD or not, you are going to have to talk to people in person, and you cannot always simply communicate by telephone. It is still handy to have a phone, of course, but you don't have to use it.

How much talking each day do you do anyway?

Kevin

katana, if I did not have the internets, how could I watch all the seasons of Entourage? eh? Email clients? Watch furry porn? (the Hello Kitty actresses are the best, that bee-hive deserves it).

Now, Facebook is exactly the abyss you speak of, for me. A large swirling abyss that I do not even stand near. I was there for a while and it f'ed with me so bad I almost lost all of my mental facilities. I deleted my profile, no goodbyes, I deleted all "my friends" and then deleted the profile...just simple Facebook suicide.

Facebook does more to divide people than it does to "bring people together." This I discovered rather quickly. I will never ever go back. But, all seasons of Entourage available for download (if you know where to look) is necessary in life, yes.

I don't see how facebook divides, but to each their own.

Txt messages on the other hand I think is a bad thing, at least for me. I do txt. It almost seems you have to these days. I almost wish I could go back to the days when there was no such thing as cell phones. It was so much simpler. The problem with me for txting is like you said there is no tone of voice, just words on a screen. It's easy for me to read something, and I take it the wrong way. I assume this happens to alot of people borderline or not. Then I find myself getting caught up in a txt msg argument, which I always tell myself I won't do, but one thing leads to another and next thing I know it's going on and on. I assume this also happens to alot of people borderline or not. Later, after all this happens I begin to question if I was misintrepting what they wrote. So while I txt, for me, it's probably a bad thing.

I don't communicate with people via those methods very often, so I really don't think too much into it. I can see where things could be misinterpreted, though. We were talking about that in group therapy not too long ago.

Well, the advantage about using the telephone is that you might involve your occupation and how much you need to talk to people, avoid time wasting in finding person when you need someone to talk too, you can talk with them just about any and time any where. The bad thing is that it causes people to worry and opens up more ways to block out the real world.

hi, thanks for all the replies

Hi Kevin, ...yeah i guess i find face to face easier even though sometimes i feel like shutting myself away from other people. ? maybe its just dealing with who & what is there right in front of me. not sure.

i dont do anywhere near enough talking - i guess part of the problem is that i find it hard to communicate when i feel like $#%^. the rest is cause at the moment i live on my own, work on my own, dont have a landline, almost no mobile reception and my net connection runs like a 90s throwback lol. (dont have a fixed internet connection at home either.) not totally isolated, go and see/stay with other people now and then.

i need to talk to other people more, but have been struggling with that, especially posting online for some reason. think its something to do with recently is the moment id normally make a run for it, "pull myself together" and squash down whatever was bothering me. not walking away from reality this time. came here with good reason means more than a lot to me and discovered a few more along the way. no turning back. no running away.

lol f mae, not watched much furry porn guess there's always something new to see. i see what you mean about social networking sites, in some social circles it seems to feed into the bitching & make it worse, but guess it all depends, think it can be a reflection of the people inviolved.

I have a phobia of making phone calls. Something about the risk of embarrassment or the person I want not being there. I prefer texting or indirect conversation. It makes me twitchy.

I hate phones now. Definitely prefer face-to-face. Phones and email ruin everything for me. I guess since I have less control?? Dunno. Smashed my cellphone a couple of weeks ago because I definitely feel it contributed to my break up. Although that makes no sense.

The only reason i prefer txt messages is because i get free txts and have to pay for phonecalls. I suppose itmeans that a conversation that can take 5-10 mins on the phone could be spread out all day, saving me from feeling alone and abandoned. Not that i get many people contacting me anyway other that my social worker. Really i have no need for a mobile phone at times.