Abandonment Question

I'm 53 years old. I was diagnosed initially with Generalized Anxiety Disorder almost 30 years ago and subsequently depression. In the past, I've been on various meds for both, but for the past several years have been drug free by choice. Not working so well, but everything I was on gave me horrible side effects. Anyway, by chance, I was sent an e-mail about borderline personality disorder and it really struck a note with me - especially the abandonment issues. I'm very happily married, but I live in constant fear of my husband leaving me or something happening to him. When he is out of town or goes away for days at a time, I'm a basket case. I tend to obsess on alot of things - thoughts and I'm over-analytical as well. Anxiety is a big factor in my life and I'm depressed from the anxiety. Any information on what others may experience in regard to abandonment issues would be helpful. Thanks!

delightful1 wrote:Any information on what others may experience in regard to abandonment issues would be helpful. Thanks!

Usually, my fear is so intense that I end up pulling myself away from them before they can leave me. I don't have many people in my life because of that fear. I don't even try to get close to anyone, I don't let myself.

brokenopen wrote:Usually, my fear is so intense that I end up pulling myself away from them before they can leave me. I don't have many people in my life because of that fear. I don't even try to get close to anyone, I don't let myself.

Ditto for the most part, yet at the same time I am unaccountably drawn towards collecting people in my life to constantly fill in the blank spots. Close, just not too close. Or too close... and then gone.