He's Up and He's Down, He's In and He's Out. Need advice

After 2 years of dating come to the conclusion that my boyfriend is having problems. Back in feb. he left me becaue he " felt so empty, he didnt feel love, or anything at all anymore". Then a month later he came back begging me, saying how miserable he was without me, and he was loving me like crazy. Well, some signs began to show up again around this month, and the same thing just happened tonight, he told me the exact same things. Keep in mind that he had talked with his parents and mine on proposing this dec. to me..... he talks about marriage a lot, when he's in a good mood. Which I believe is his "high manic mood" IE- lets go get married right now! Vs. his manic depressive state, such as today, " I dont love you anymore, I dont feel love, I'm empty."

I've been set up on numerous EKGs because of him acting this way, and I'm stupid for loving him but I do and I cant help it.
He is like this with other things in his life too. He gets extremely upset over a deceased dog to the point of hysterical fits, and then at other times talks about the dog in happiness...its been two years. He is 20. Also, he gets on kicks that he goes through quickly and then gets bored. He's stopped eating and has lost weight. He says he doesnt sleep.

It feels like a cycle. He gets extremely loving and romantic and warm and happy, then it changes drastically to sad, depressed, hating himself, lost in life, unsure of his future, empty, and not able to feel love.


What's going on?

Hey,

Did you look up his symptoms, find Borderline PD, and then came here to post? I ask because the majority of people reading your description of him would think Bipolar Disorder. Whatever he has - you're right - it's a problem, and realistically a relationship cannot be built upon the foundations that you and he have set. In the long term, i'm sure that you can hazard a guess that a happy relationship won't happen, right? Perhaps that is too harsh, and it would be better to say that unless things change NOW, a happy relationship cannto happen.

In my opinion, the relationship should come to an end right now, or at least be 'frozen'. You can both intend to get back together in the future, but things simply are not right in the present. He is suffering, and so are you, and you both need to part ways in order to become happier.

My apologies if any of my words here have upset you and/or come across as arrogant. I assure you that they [my words] are based on experiences in my own life and the lives of others I knew.

Kevin

Thanks for the reply,

Actually no I didn't just look up the symptoms...I'm a psychology major and I've noted a few very strong aspects. It is very difficult, I'm sure that you understand, because one moment I thought everything was perfectly fine...then the next, THIS. Theres never any lover spats, it's extreme. I know that bpd has a hard time with middle ground...this is just wrong.

What's just 'wrong'?

I have no oficial training in psychology, but based on experience the best thing to do is just leave the sufferer alone when they are in their bad mood. You could let them know that you will behave this way beforehand, however, so that they'll know you aren't actually ignoring their problem, but are dealing with it indirectly. It's up to them to get professional help. If they don't, then they should'nt expect you to hang around too long while they mistreat you.

Kevin

oh katy perry!

find happinness in the small things