Help Now If Possible

i'm just experiencing a panicky moment, teetering at the point where it all starts to cascade. What do I do , try to breathe, think logical thought.
The situation is a repeat of two months ago when I ended up in the hospital

crispy, I only have two thoughts, and I'm so sorry you're feeling this way.

First, did something trigger this?

And, can you lie down for 20 minutes?

I think I handled it better this time, didn't freak out. But I am worried.

This has to do with my housing situation. My brother own's the property I live on. He has just put a B&B in the other half of the duplex I live in. (I do pay market value rent to him, he's not doing me any favours.) When I went to tell him that noise from his guests is a problem, he handed me some earplugs. I asked him if he had tenants who weren't family would he do that? If his business was interfering with their peace and quiet. He had no answer , just said we have to talk. Which is what he said last time, just before him saying I should move out, giving no notice.

He is not a bad guy, I think he really believes he is behaving sensibly, but there is a double standard here.

Oh, and I live in a very small community with few rental options. When I think about that I start t panic again.

Yes, velouria I can lie down for a bit

Yes, definitely sounds like a double standard.

So, I get panic attacks, too. But not bad enough to land me in the hospital. One thing that has helped is laying down for 20 mins and repeating the same word over and over. It sounds boring as hell, but you can play with the word visually and rhythmically. And you can let other thoughts enter as long as you keep that word as the main focus. But the more you focus on the word, the better it feels. See if you feel any tingling around the crown of your head.

Make sure it's a word you like and that's fun to play with. Mine's "electric."

Thanks, i'll try that.

It's basically Transcendental Meditation without the kooky pyramid scheme. I hope you like it.

I like that Veloria. Will try it out next time I need it!

Crispy, what you are experiencing with your housing would make anybody jumpy and a bit panicked. With BPD (at least in my case) it is multiplied by some huge factor.

Two things that help me a bit.
1. Just realising that my reactions / feelings are stronger because of the BPD helps me realise that it may not be as bad as it feels.
2. Making a conscious decision to let the feelings run their course, safe in the knowledge that they WILL stop that intensity after a while.

If they don't work for me, I'll be using Veloria's tip!

Crispy, a huge source of anxiety for me in the past, which is why I now I live alone. Part of being a borderline is the need to vacate someone's life when I need to, the ions, the energy, the repulsion I feel for that person and situation, and if I can't leave for whatever reason, if it is days or weeks or, God forbid, months away, I agonize and am an unholy mess of a person until I get away. So I know how you feel. If you are going the fair-market value route, just move out and get your own fair market gig going, it will be a lot less stressful. Today I slept mid-afternoon or so I thought. I was in bed but I was there just resting not sure if I was sleeping or not, just resting comfortably. It felt so good. All alone, no one around to bug me. But my meds are kicking in now for sure so I am signing off.

Before checking into the hospital reassess what your short-term goals are, be realistic and start hacking away at them, however small. It will make you feel better.