are we voilent?

okay so of my all my symptoms, my anger is probably the scariest to my friends and myself. I get so enraged quite frequently. I feel mostly negative emotions, but anger is my favorite. I would much rather feel hate and anger than sadness, it makes me feel powerful when I normally feel powerless. I have no impulse control and I often have violent thoughts.

Is it common for us borderlines to act on our anger?

Yes, it's very common actually. When you feel sad, or betrayed by somebody, I'm sure your anger is just a defense mechanism so you don't show weakness/vulnerability. I'm sure you become so enraged that you just want to kill the person sometimes. Believe it or not, you have the power within yourself to control these urgers, and emotions. Try to let your walls down and open up emotionally next time this happens, and communicate your pain & sadness to the other person, they will understand much better...

the anger that i experience/have experienced is one of my utmost worries in relation to the disorder...ive kicked holes through walls, screamed at the top of my lungs, slammed things, thrown things...all this often resulting in breaking objects- and then i feel guilty and/or embarrassed. the worst part of this anger element is that i cant control what i get angry over. it can be over the stupidest little thing, but at the time, im so enraged.

The rage can take hold of you to extremes...

Example...
My friend had this deadbeat, drugged out, bum of a boyfriend that I hated.
So long as they dated I dealt with him, but tallied up every wrong he did to her, her friends and myself.
She finally broke up with him but didn't have the heart to kick him out...
So I did it.
I threw his things off the balcony, into the parking lot and changed the locks.
She thought that was going too far...
But he kept trying to come back, and obviously missed the message...
So I tampered with his brakes (thank you, dad, for How To Screw Up A Car 101)
When he wrapped his car around a tree (only at 20 miles an hour... he was fine) he got the hint.

We can get scary mad... and lack inhibitions when it happens...
It's something you have to learn to control.

._. Smile you're scary AND my hero.

When i get angry enough- and it's only happened maybe 3 times- I will manipulate things until the person I'm angry with gets pretty much depressed. I don't handle abusive cheaters well.

The rest of the time, I am too disconnected from my emotions or I grew up sort of being dismissed when angry, so I pretty much have the rage building up until I hurt myself or short-circuit and just flatline my emotions. So I'm a pretty calm person.

I have a lot of pent-up stuff but it gets let out a little at a time.

Pairou wrote:._. Smile you're scary AND my hero.

I get that a lot.
My friend Billie said it last night when I half-snapped at my bf...

See I'm in the process of detoxing off THC... because it's not working with my moods...
And he kept asking me about weed...
So I calmly... snappily... said "Will you please not ask me about the weed I'm trying to not smoke? Thank you."
He shut up, and Billie applauded me. She says it's a for of sticking up for myself and she envies it.

I apologize for snapping, but even his friend, who was sitting next to me, agreed I had a valid point.
Lol.
Go me.
I'm a scary hero.

Makes me want to go put on my "I'm My Own Hero" shirt...

SmileXx wrote:So I tampered with his brakes (thank you, dad, for How To Screw Up A Car 101)
When he wrapped his car around a tree (only at 20 miles an hour... he was fine) he got the hint.

haha nice!

Thank you.
It's rather irritating to be everyone's epitome of crazy, though.
Very tedious to live up to that name.

SmileXx wrote:

Pairou wrote:._. Smile you're scary AND my hero.

I get that a lot.
My friend Billie said it last night when I half-snapped at my bf...

See I'm in the process of detoxing off THC... because it's not working with my moods...
And he kept asking me about weed...
So I calmly... snappily... said "Will you please not ask me about the weed I'm trying to not smoke? Thank you."
He shut up, and Billie applauded me. She says it's a for of sticking up for myself and she envies it.

I apologize for snapping, but even his friend, who was sitting next to me, agreed I had a valid point.
Lol.
Go me.
I'm a scary hero.

Makes me want to go put on my "I'm My Own Hero" shirt...

im going through the exact same thing. it sucks because my bf is a regular pot-smoker, and he HAS cut back a lot in trying to help me, but when he gets home from work and digs into the bag of weed to roll himself an after-work joint, i get so pissed. i dont want to SEE or SMELL that sh*t, because i want it. i woke up this morning in a pissy, easily-set off mood; i think its the withdrawl.

Red claims that he smokes so much these days because I stress him out.
I can't really say it's not true, since I'm a lunatic half the time.
I think I'd smoke more if I had to deal with a lunatic too.

But I don't know...
We'll see if I can calm down and he can smoke less...

He promised.