Buddhism (no self) BPD (no identity) - I'm confused!

I've been wondering about this for a while and also trying to decide which would be the best forum to post it on. What is the difference between the concept of the no-self of Buddhist philosopy, realizing that any idea of who we really are is just a fabrication of our own minds and not real and limiting and leading to suffering, and the 'problem' of having no identity in BPD?

Surely, according to Buddhist thinking, a borderline with no stable self image would be in a better position to avoid suffering, but I suffer heaps because I don't know who I really am and who I 'should' be and it causes me problems in my relationships with other people and also when I'm alone because I am a social creature and everything in my life seems to have some kind of a social context to it.

For a while I thought I was doing great, I stumbled into Buddhist ideas and figured that I was a step ahead because I knew that 'I' didn't really exist, I was well aware of my changing sense of self and that I was basically in control of who and what I projected to the world, not only that, at the time I didn't want a stable identity or a self, I liked the idea that I could be who ever wanted to be, but other people seemed to have a problem with me and I do have the abandonment issues of BPD, so it was a bit of a conflict.

Now I'm just confused.

If having no self to identify with as a Buddist is a good thing, then why is having no stable identity as a borderline problematic

2forward1back -

Your interpretation of the concept of self from Buddhism may not be what it was intended to be.

Buddhism talks about the concept of "beyond self", where your awareness of self goes beyond and merges with a whole. It is a state where you give up your defense mechanisms and become one with humanity. It is a higher level of awareness and existence, where you don't need to seek to "control" your surroundings or relationships. Now, this can only come with stable self awareness first and then move beyond.

With a Cluster B personality disorder, one is actually one step behind, where a frightened self or lack of proper development of self, has resulted in "repression" of self awareness and therefore the associated defense mechanisms to counter the imagined fearful forces of the world. It is a lower level of existence, where you are constantly shape-shifting your unstable self to gain "control" of your surroundings and relationships. Hence your inner conflicts (abandonment, etc) and conflicts with the external world (other people seem to have a problem with you).

Thank you searchfortruth, your explaination is very helpful and you are right, I was misunderstanding the Buddhist concept of self.

Also BPD 'no self' is extremely painful. We feel nothing, including who we are, because we are numbed out from all the pain. There is SO MUCH pain it feels like there is nothing at times. Buddhism is transcending beyond pain, but not into the deep abyss, into something neither good nor bad. A BPD could be a good buddhist, they would just be going at it at a different angle than someone without BPD.

I won't attempt to make a solid interpretation of the quote as I'm no buddist !

But my perspective on self-identity:

People I have met in remote unwesternised tribes do not seem self-conscious in the same way people in "developed" societies do: They do not seem to think so much of how they appear, or what they are, instead they interact with other people and their surroundings with more concern for what is going on outside themselves. Their emotions act as another sense with which to interpret and communicate with the world. You could say they are at one with the world around them, and with humanity, but I would say they are at one with existence, and they do not need to question what they are.

People in developed countries are often far more concerned with the self than with the world they interact with - and because acceptance is not the norm, when concerned with others, it is often with their judgement of the self, some so sensitive to the judgement of others that to protect themselves from rejection they will do everything they can blend seamlessly. (subconsciously perhaps). Emotions become a warning signal for a lack of acceptance and love, and both the associated thoughts and the emotions which follow lead to further distress. - Vicious circle. And this is only in "normal" people in large societies!

Then people treat them like $#%^ and it screws them up even more.

Before you can transcend the existence of the self, you have to be free to be it.