Invasive, wrong thoughts, DBT, etc . . .

I've taken a look at DBT stuff. It's pretty good, but so far to me it seems to only address how to deal with bad stuff after it's triggered.

I'm wondering if I'm just not understanding something about DBT or if there are other techniques to prevent yourself from having those invasive thoughts of rejection in the first place.

The thing is, I feel pretty good on the antidepressant. BUT I'm easily triggered into a mixed state/depression if I feel that my girlfriend is rejecting me. For example, if she is a few hours late answering an email, or the email is shorter than usual (even though I know very well how busy she is!), or she makes a joke, it can send me crashing for days. Every time this happens, it's for something so small and stupid and it's never based in reality. Then I see her and everything is normal, and my mood instantly levels.

I'm tempted just to ask her for reassurance every time this happens, because it's easy to get from her and it works, but that seems like little more than a band-aid and probably just reinforces the behaviour. There's just no reason to jump to these conclusions all the time, but I can't help doing it! Is the best I can hope for learning to "accept" the feelings, rather than just not having them, as is what I gather from DBT literature?

I know how you feel. If my boyfriend even just acts a little disinterested in my conversation, or he gets quiet, or a multitude of stupid little things that I consciously know shouldn't matter.
God forbid he doesn't answer my text I'm depressed all day, until he can prove he's not mad at me.

I try to rationalize it.
If he didn't answer that text.... is he at work?...is he in the middle of making dinner?
If he gets quiet...did he have a long work day?... is he stoned? ... does he really like the song on the radio?

If I can successfully rationalize it I don't necessarily feel better, but I don't freak out the way I tend to.
If I can't successfully rationalize, I've at least wasted a good amount of time and I can focus on something else, now...
Like why he's not answering my text message.

My girlfriend mentioned that I was reading a comic and didn't hear her talking to me (true) and I was convinced for 2 days she was going to break up with me. If she doesn't smile as wide, or if she mentions she's having a bad day... did I do something? Was it me? Of course she has more than enough going on, it could be anything. She's tired, annoyed with a friend, her parents, anything. I ask her straight out if I did anything and pray I'm wrong. And I usually am.

Pairou wrote:If she doesn't smile as wide, or if she mentions she's having a bad day... did I do something? Was it me? Of course she has more than enough going on, it could be anything. She's tired, annoyed with a friend, her parents, anything.

My bf doesn't really have that much going on... but I imagine this exact thing is what's going through his head when I swing for no reason... which happens. I get quiet, or my smile fades and he freaks out! It's cute...
It's like we both have BPD, except he's not half as bad as I am about it.

SmileXx wrote:

Pairou wrote:If she doesn't smile as wide, or if she mentions she's having a bad day... did I do something? Was it me? Of course she has more than enough going on, it could be anything. She's tired, annoyed with a friend, her parents, anything.

My bf doesn't really have that much going on... but I imagine this exact thing is what's going through his head when I swing for no reason... which happens. I get quiet, or my smile fades and he freaks out! It's cute...
It's like we both have BPD, except he's not half as bad as I am about it.

That describes us perfectly. XD

You're not secretly my boyfriend are you?

SmileXx wrote:You're not secretly my boyfriend are you?

Does he have boobs? : O Cos if so...

Pairou wrote:

SmileXx wrote:You're not secretly my boyfriend are you?

Does he have boobs? : O Cos if so...

Well... he HAS gained weight recently...

SmileXx wrote:

Pairou wrote:

SmileXx wrote:You're not secretly my boyfriend are you?

Does he have boobs? : O Cos if so...

Well... he HAS gained weight recently...

Manoobies! Moobies?

No not yet...
But I'm waiting for them.

^_^

I love my bf... he takes so much crap from me.