Newly BPD - Support needed fast.... :(

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Hi confused,

Welcome to the forums.

First of all, no pills. If you're in a crisis and seriously thinking about hurting yourself, call 1-800-784-2433. Like, pronto.

You've got a lot on your shoulders right now, but you can overcome it. It's not going to be easy, but you've got it in you.

I've felt the way you have. And you CAN feel better.

For example, 3-4 years ago I thought that I would never get a job. Not only did I get a job, but I have letters of reference from 2 employers now. Still a quick job change, but I keep getting better.

And you'll get better, too.

(((HUGS)))

--Frayed

The wonderful thing about this forum is that it is full of people who understand. All the things that made me think i was crazy are just part of bpd. For me that was a huge weight off my shoulders. I have a responsibility to learn to modify my thinking. . And for the first time i know it is possible. I even like myself (just from being able to differentiate between me and bpd reactions. The responsibility is to myself. I will benefit and so will everybody else around me. It is far nicer having a named condition that you can work on than stumbling around in the dark thinking you are mad. The hurt and emotional overload are horrific, but a little easier to bear when you know where they are coming from. There are people here who have made massive progress and if they can do it so can i and so can you. Welcome to the forum. You are not alone with this!

Hi confused,

Im living with my boyfriend who is amazing and he knows i have a fear of being left alone and abandomed and he thinks im so strong because of everything i have been through..... but i just dont know how to tell him this. I feel that i should break up with him because i want him to have a better life then someone with his disorder and that i might be someone that has a kid to him one dayand then the next [...] i dont know... i dont like it...

I've brought the same thing up to my fiance. You know what he said? He asked me not to do his thinking for me.

I've made him extensively aware (both through manifestations of my problems and clinical findings) that he's in for a rough ride. I've even told him that some people choose not to stay in a relationship with someone like me, because the relationship occasionally gets too demanding (less and less as time goes on, though). And he said that he understands the risks. He said that it is his choice. He is aware of the overall worst-case scenario. He has seen MY worst-case scenario. We've discussed statistical outlier-types of worst-case scenarios.

We have had periods of separation. I got counseling and proper meds.

And he is choosing to stay. We've been living together, successfully, for 2 years now. We've been together for 8.

So if someone is aware of everything that you are and wants to stay with you through good times and bad--to be by your side as you recover--why not let him make that choice for himself?

Really, you're not he. Let him make his own decision--and don't push him to make the one you think is best for him.

--Frayed

"All the things that made me think i was crazy are just part of bpd. "

i thought BP was a type of crazy?

interesting to read about the couple coping in the last post.

Personality Disorders don't make you crazy.
The things that result from the disorder do.
You have to learn to deal with you life, which is hard.
That's when they stop saying you're crazed... when you can deal again.